HOLD ME CLOSER (BL/BXB)

Sixteen

My steps were bigger and wider than it used to. I fastened my pace to avoid the unnecessary gazes from people whom I didn't know. Words flocked inside my head rambling like messed up nests unable to form a useful one and everytime I built up, stacked the little tiny bits from to another, they fell and crashed.

"What's happening?" I asked myself. The lingering thoughts clouded my brain that all I wanted to do was to escape this place, escape the eyes that were haunting me. I wanted to hide from those looks that tried to make me burn from their stares.

The more I stay here, the more they ripped me into pieces and I couldn't stand how their laughs echoed, their whispers buzzed and their stares pierced.

I ran as fast as I could. I found myself in the classroom of people of the same block. Of course, they were doing like what others were doing by the campus lounge. I should be waiting for Scott to come so that we could go to the cafeteria together. However, I couldn't muster up the courage to face him now that I was hearing those people talk about me being with Scott.

Questions lingered my thoughts like soem crumpled sheets of paper being thrown at my head. It was just a few weeks of our secind term in our senior year of highschool. And things went far from where I expected.

I used to have ny boring life during this time last year. Preparing for organizations to join and planning the life d of this term. We even had a few weeks stretched out for our convenience tore hopping with Scott. And now, I was lost whether going to meet Scott or spending my time all alone.

"I heard he tried to put on a love potion on most of Scott's food." The girl behind me joked and the other giggled at the fantastical take on how I got Scott's attention. "Love potion? More like bribery or blackmailing." The other one made another joke. "Maybe Scott was so scared that he has left no choice but to follow that filth."

It did not took that long before I heard a few people come in. Nathan tapped me at my back as I tilted my head up to look at him. His lips twitched trying to make up for words that he would be able to utter but kept silent. His eyes were saying something more.

"Ash." My name echoed inside the room as the voice of a hurried girl barged in. Sasha was panting and was on her knees the moment she was in front of me.

"What the hell was happeneing?" She exclaimed.

"You haven't heard?" The girl behind me butted in like she was part of the conversation. They all turned to look at her and I was just looking miserably dying in the inside. I did not want to hear their false allegations and I wanted to defend myself that they were all lies. However, if I ever did that, they would all look at me like some defensive dude who was trying to manipulate the whole situation to be on my side. I did not want that to happen.

"He was trying to seduce Scott." The girl said.

I was not trying to seduce. He's my friend. He was my best friend. Yes, I might have fallen for him but he didn't catch me after that all I ever had with him was this friendship and nothing more.

"Seduce? They were friends." Sasha tried to argue. I wrapped my hand around her fisted wrist into a grasp. I wanted her to stop.

"More like blackmailing the poor boy to be his friend. Desperate lonely brat." They both gigled.

"These nuisance." Sasha freed herself from my grasp and was about to charge at the girls gigling.

"Where did you all heard that?"

"It's posted over the school freedom page."

"What?" She asked.

"If I were you, I will not be hanging out with some desperate filth." They spoke.

I could not handle their words. I stood up. I grabbed my bag and dashed my way out of the room. The bell rang. Tears flowing endlessly. Vision blurring from the rush of tears. I could hear Sasha called out. But she wasn't able to chase after me because after a few seconds, the bell rang.

"Is that the boy who tried to blackmail Scott?" I walked past a few people.

"He was acting sweet and kind when people are around but he was a total monster after he turns his back." Another one commented.

"Filthy rag."

"Of course, he is after the school hottie. Desperate pig." Words after words. Swords ripping my back endlessly. Stinging pain as wounds carved along its sharpened trail.

I did not do anything.

"Ash." A familiar voice called out.

"Scott?" Someone asked. "What kind of black magic this boy did to him that Scott was still after him?"

"I wanna know too. Maybe I could use it too so Scott would like me rather than him." Another one commented. I did not have the guts to look at their faces. If I did, I would probably meet their eyes as they were looking back at me like I was some scandalous thing everyone despised, laughed at and showed disgust.

I need to get out of hear.

"Ash." Scott called out again. I ran as fast as I could, bumping into a few people after wiping the tears. Names continued to be called. Scott shouting my name drowning in a sea of horrendous things they were all trying to call me.

Passed the gates, the guards did not stop me. They knew that my state was not good for any communication. This time, I was so grateful for their understanding.

I ran as fast as I could, under the broad daylight, under scrutiny of thousands of eyes looking at me asking questions in their heads.

I wanted to ran away, as far as I can.

***
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