Crescent (Book 1)

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I don't know how often he comes to undress me, wash me, redress me, feed me, and put me back to sleep again. He sleeps with me when it gets dark. Usually pulls me against him and keeps me warm when the blankets can't. I don't know why he does it. I don't know why I let him. Nothing means anything to me. Nothing means anything at all. The gala is over. My family is gone. Ceth is dead. I killed him.

I know nothing else.

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When darkness comes, Gabriel appears again. He undresses me, washes me, feeds me. But instead of crawling back into bed with me, he pauses, watching me. "I'm taking you somewhere." Gabriel holds his hand out to me. Taking his hand is only reflexive. The world goes white.

We appear below a graying skyline that joins with the sea in a blast of water against rock. Grassy cliffs loom in the distance, and a salted mist hangs in the air as we look out over the crashing waves... and a lighthouse that towers over us. It's painted a faded yellow that's chipped and cracking. Glass is busted out of window panes and wooden planks are missing from the walls. A rusted well that looks entirely out of use sits in the pasture to the right.

"This place is in the innermost part of my territory. No one will bother you here." Another wave hits the cliffs and tosses a sheet of mist into the air. "If you need water for a bath, the well still pumps. Magic will take care of the rest. Anything you need."

My first thought: Why did he bring me here? My second thought: I really don't fucking care. From the corner of my eye, I feel him looking at me, deciding whether or not to ask a question I know I can't answer. So with a determination I don't feel, I step forward and crack the door open. It's dark, musty in a way that suggests it's been long abandoned.

"I'll come when you call," he says. With another wave of mist, I know he's gone... leaving me alone. Truly alone. Alone in a way I've never been before.

After days of feeling nothing, after so long of being nothing, it hits me with the might of a storm: Loneliness, fear, sorrow, hatred. I can't stop myself from collapsing. I can't stop the sounds that escape me. The floorboards dig into my knees as I sob, my hand shaking as I tug my hair hard enough to feel pain. Pain. I deserve pain. I want Rosie. I want mom. I want my goddamn father, but they're gone. I sob until my eyes swell shut. I sob until I don't have any tears left. But the ache remains. The ache tells me I'm alive. Dust scatters as I force myself to stand and walk inside. Sunlight filters in through the shards of the window panes on the furthest wall.

There's a chair and a coffee table in one corner of the entryway, both covered by sheets that look like ghosts in the shadows. To the left, there's a hallway filled with storage shelves and spilling bags of grain. A spiral staircase to the right leads to a landing in the lighthouse tower. Long ago, light might've beckoned sailing ships home from here... I let myself wander to the seafarer's room connecting to it. It's nothing more than a simple bed and a wooden oak frame, a desk with tea-stained letters and quills, and a stained glass window reflecting shapes of cerulean blue onto the floorboards.

The lighthouse is rotting and run down. Lived in once. But now it's just a mess, waiting to be kicked back into use again. And part of me knows that's exactly what Gabriel brought me here to do.