Road to Nowhere

Favourite Relative

When I reached Eddy's house, I parked in the driveway and hopped out of my car. All the lights were off, but there was still daylight so that couldn't mean anything. I knocked on the door with a fun melody. Within seconds, the door opened and an overly under dressed leggy blond opened the door. She wore a male's shirt that must of been my uncle's that stopped just below her hips. She gave me a dirty look like I was the tramp. Take a look in the mirror, hunny.

"Who the hell are you?" She hissed at me with slitted eyes.

"Who the hell are you?" I hissed back with the same amount of rudeness. Who did this bitch think she was?

"Sammy!" Uncle Eddy called from the top of the stairs making his way towards us, "how's my favourite niece doing?"

"I'm your only niece, Ed" I replied with a smile, "and I'm not in the greatest mood right now thanks to this one over here." I said, pointing in the direction of the over-exposed woman in front of me.

He laughed. "I see you've met Tina."

"Yes, unfortunately." I gave her a dirty look.

"Now now, Sam," he started "no need to be rude... I'm sure she didn't mean any harm."

"Yeah, Sammy, listen to your uncle." Tina said, adding an extra emphasis on her name like she was making fun of it. That bitch!

Eddy turned his attention to Tina and whispered in her ear which, thank God, made her leave and go back up the stairs.

"Wow, she's something special." I said sarcastically, walking in and giving my uncle a hug.

"She's really not that bad once you get to know her." He assured me, not convincing me one bit.

"Mhmm." Is all I said back to that remark.

Ed laughed and continued, "So what's up?"

"Mom wanted me to come by and pick up some wine for tonight. The Werner's are coming over." I said with a wink.

Eddy was my closest relative and kind of a manwhore himself so I had no problems spilling the gory details of my sex life. He's probably the coolest older guy ever... and he covers for me when I get hammered. In return, I don't speak a word about any of the many girls he sleeps with to my mom. She would probably stop talking to him if she found out half the stuff that he does. It's a win-win situation.

"Ouu, I want the inside scoop tomorrow!" he said with excitement. "But don't go too wild on him."

I threw my head back and laughed. "You're the one to talk?"

"Okay, okay. No need to point fingers."

I laughed. "Alright. But what happened to Katy? I liked her."

"She moved to Ohio, and you only liked her because she gave you a beer when I wouldn't." He replied, laughing.

"Bummer. And that's not true! She wasn't a stuck up little bitch like that so-called Tina you have in your bed."

"Yeah, well things just don't work out sometimes." He said with a fake smile. I knew there was more to the story, but didn't care much to ask him about it.

I checked the time on the small round clock on the wall and I saw that it was 7:03.

"Shit, I have to go... Mom's gonna kill me!"

"Okay, let me grab that bottle of wine for you. Red or white?"

"Umm, I don't know... Mom didn't say. I'll just take both I guess."

Eddy came back from the kitchen holding two bottles of wine and presented them to me with a smile.

"Thanks, Ed. You're the best!"

I gave him a quick hug, took the wine and walked to my car. I rolled the window down, turned on the radio, and sped down the rode in the direction of my house.