Chapter 18 - Duty

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I was under strict orders from the healers to rest up in bed while my body recovered from whatever death ritual the Red Priests attempted to perform on me. Brienne brought me books from the library that she thought I might like and would often to read them to me, but the only thing I wanted was her. However she refused to give in to her desires and resisted my advances insisting that any physical activity would set my recovery back.
"Spoil sport".

One day I got a visit from Queen Sansa. She must have felt at ease around us as she came alone with no guards following her. As soon as she entered Brienne got to her feet and bowed.
"Your Majesty! We weren't expecting you" Brienne said, caught off-guard.
"Now what kind of Queen would I be if I didn't check in on my injured friends hmm?" she said pleasantly.
"It's good to see you Sansa" I said and Brienne looked horrified that I didn't address her by her title.
Sansa giggled, "Brienne could I speak with Imogen alone please?"
"Um...of course. I'll wait outside".
She kissed my forehead and left.
Sansa sat in the chair beside the bed and held my hand.
"How are you feeling?" she said sympathetically.
"I'm a little sore but according to the healers I'm recovering well".
"It must have been a terrifying experience, for both of you" she said.
"It was. One moment me and Brienne are having a snowball fight then the next thing I'm being sacrificed to the Lord of Light".
"You and Brienne had a snowball fight?" I was glad she overlooked the darker side of that story.
"Yeah! She won of course. But I'll get her back" I said determinedly.
Sansa laughed, probably at the thought of Brienne behaving childishly and having fun.
"She really cares about you, you know. The whole time you were unconscious she never left your side".
My heart swelled at that thought.
"I took your advice and told her how I felt. We slept together the night before we were captured and it was truly amazing. When I came back to consciousness she told me she loved me too".
Sansa beamed, "I'm so happy for you both. The relationship you have is strong, much like the one my parents had".
"Thank you, your Majesty" I said with courtesy.

*

I woke up from a nap later that evening and saw Brienne sitting by the fireplace reading a piece of paper with a serious look on her face. I groaned loudly and stretched but her eyes never left the paper.
"What's that?" I asked.
"It's a letter from...King's Landing" she replied.
"Is everything OK? Is it Jacob? Garrin?" I started to panic.
"No no, they're fine. But there's something I haven't told you about me. I'm not just a Knight of the Six Kingdoms...I'm the King's Lord Commander".
I was stunned, she really was full of surprises!
"What?! Wow Bri that's amazing! Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
She joined me on the bed.
"I was waiting for the right moment but it seems that has been decided for me" she looked back down at the letter, "I'm being called back to King's Landing...which means I have to leave you for a while".
My heart sank and my smile faded, "how long?"
"A few weeks...maybe a few months".
"What?! When do you leave?!"
"As soon as possible".
My heart broke as it sank even further, "let me come with you".
"No Imogen. You're still too weak to travel".
"I'm getting stronger! Please Brienne, I don't want you to go!"
"I know, I don't want to leave you but I have to. It's my duty".
I really didn't want to ask her this but I had to know, "will I ever see you again?"
She didn't answer, she just stared at the letter.
"But you made a promise..."
"I did and I failed to keep it. You nearly died on my watch and I'll never forgive myself for that. You'd be better off without me" she said dismissively and left the room.
"Brienne!" I called after her but she didn't return.
I lay in bed cursing every God for taking her away from me. There was nothing I could do, she was right I was still recovering and would only be a burden. But I couldn't let her slip through my fingers, not now. Garthax had wanted to cause me pain and misery and I wasn't going to let that happen.

Brienne returned a while later suited up in a different style of armour. This one was gold and black, she had a helmet under one arm and her other hand on Oathkeeper's hilt.
"I have to leave soon" she said barely audibly.
"Is there anything I can do to convince you to stay? Or to let me come with you?"
She shook her head.
"When you're fully recovered the Queen will arrange for a guarded caravan to take you back to Berxley" she said in a formal tone.
"Not to King's Landing? To be with you?"
She shook her head again, "as I said you're better off without me".
"How the hell can you say that?! I'm a mess without you! You saw what I was like when you left me for half an hour to get pastries!"
"You need someone you can rely on. My duties will only take me away from you. You deserve more than what I can give" she hung her head.
I bolted out of the bed with a new found strength and ran over to her.
"I don't want anyone else. I want you. I love you Brienne".
"I love you too, Imogen. So much".
I pulled her in by her neck for a long firm kiss. Her cheeks flushed red as she tried to not let me see her real emotions.
"You have to let me go, for your own sake" she whispered. She lowered my arms and went to leave the room, taking one last look at me over her shoulder before she closed the door.
I cried my little weak heart out.

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