7 Days Without You

Day 1

Aug 2, 2023

It's been a long day for me.
Today's the first day I couldn't see you after parting from you.

Since morning I tried hard to get myself busy with some or the other chores. I even succeeded to some extent.

I tried hard not to think about you. But I couldn't.

I couldn't control my feelings. I couldn't control my emotions.

I couldn't control myself from thinking about you.

Your tiny eyes... Your giant nose... Your not so shiny lips... Your not so attractive face... Everything kept blowing upon my mind, reminding me about you again and again.

I just couldn't understand what's so special within you. What's so special that I just couldn't stop myself from getting prodded about you.

The moments we spent together, those funny jokes we used to crack together... Everything urges me to get back to you as soon as I can.

I know I get angry at you very often.
I know I'm a bit too irritating. I know I'm a bit too possessive, when it comes to you.
But believe me! That's just because I love you a bit too hard.
Maybe I love you too much that I couldn't bear the pain of parting from you.

Today's the first day of leaving you and allowing you to stay in peace and enjoy your single life.

I tried hard not to miss you. But I couldn't.

I thought of every bad memories I had, while being with you. I thought of all those perversions you did to me, while being with you. I tried hard to think the worst about you... To hate you as much as I can... But I couldn't...

I'm unable to hate you... I simply couldn't...

Even when I thought about our worst moments, it reminded me of all those good moments you gave to me... It reminded me of all those good lessons you have been teaching me in order to make me perfect...

I don't want to miss you... I don't want to love you...

Because I know, I couldn't bear the pain of loving you... I couldn't bear the pain of getting hurt in love...

I know you're loyal... I know you're trustworthy...
And I trust you... But I don't trust this world... I don't trust those people who feel happy and satisfied by parting us... I don't trust those people who forcibly interfere in our affairs and create chaos between us...

Each and every day, I live in the fear of loosing you...

Each and every breathe of mine reminds me that maybe someday you'll no more be the person, you used to be...

This world is very cruel... It has already been giving me lots of pain... I don't want to suffer anymore...

The worst affliction in this world is loosing our beloved ones... And I don't want to go through that agony...

And maybe that's the reason I don't want to love you...

But I still couldn't stop myself from loving you... And that's why I miss you...

I want to talk to you for long hours... But you're too busy to speak to me...

I want to hug you tight... I want to hold you and sleep whole night...
But you're too distant for me to reach...

I want to suppress my feelings and leave you alone to be happy in your life... But I still miss you...

I want you to enjoy your happy days without me... I don't want to disturb you like I used to do before... But I still miss you...

I know I overthink a lot... That's because I love you a lot...

But you couldn't understand my feelings...

Am I too hard to understand???