if without you. woosan

01

"locked inside the dark.
where I'm suffocating deeper.
I'm just falling down"
-take me home (ateez)

꒷꒦ ; ch. 1: a dark place

trigger warning; panic attack! homophobia!

wooyoung laid awake on his bed, he couldn't sleep, he couldn't bring himself to. not when the lights outside his room were all turned on, with the television's volume raised to its volume and the stink of alcohol somehow made its way through the cracks of his door. he was uneasy, so braced himself and figured out he'd just wait until the sun makes its appearance.

and now was the moment, the sun poured golden rays through his window, spread across the blue sky was the hue of pastel blush and gold.

the birds outside chirped a familiar melody, somehow spreading a sense of ease in his tensed body. he slipped out of the blanket and trudged out of his bedroom.

the living room was dimly lit by the light from the television that was airing a morning talk show. the figure on the sofa plopped lazily, a bottle of beer on his hand that was resting loosely in the air.

wooyoung tiptoed his way to the bathroom, cursing internally when he gets startled by the occasional snores that left his father's. when he accidentally toppled over a bottle-which rolled towards a wall making a clinking sound upon the collision- his father snorted. his head shot up behind the sofa's back, a frown on his face.

wooyoung inhaled, preparing himself for whatever was coming out from the man's mouth.

"you couldn't be fucking silent for once?" he fumed, trying to stand as his body swayed violently under the influence of the alcohol.

"i-im sorry..."

"for fuck's sake," his father jeered at him. yet almost instantly, his expression changed, an unusual smile on his face creeping wooyoung out, "you gettin' ready to screw women?"

wooyoung shuddered at the thought, he quickly shook his head, "no." he just couldn't have a normal day, huh? his day was just getting started and he already had to deal with this man's obnoxious babblings.

a scoff was heard, "you fuckwit still ain't over playing with-" he gagged disgust written over his face "-men? you cock sucking cunt"

the oreo haired (wooyoung) inwardly rolled his eyes out of annoyance, but of course, his face was indifferent on the outside. staring at the man with eyebrows scrunched together, which went unnoticed under the little to no light that loomed in the room.

he exhaled, deciding to just mumble incoherent words, making sure the man heard it before he finally stomped his way to the bathroom. he had just lost minutes of his limited time to get ready for his first day of school, he could have used that time he spent with the man to freshen up.

wooyoung stared at his reflection on the mirror, dark spots circled under his droopy eyes, his hair sticking out to different places, a bruise by his lip and an extremely forbidding aura surrounded him.

"what a way to start my day."

the school bustled with both eager students who couldn't contain themselves when they saw each other after the not so long break, and wearied students who seem to be done and fed up for the day, even though it had just begun.

and wooyoung, who had his hair tied in a half ponytail and his uniform neatly worn, was in between. he wasn't feeling particularly thrilled, but the thought of finally getting away from the house with that man for a day alleviated his spirits a bit. he felt like he could finally loosen and breathe; fresh air mixed with the scent of the perfumes the students wore, body spray and coffee. unlike the reek of alcohol he had gotten used to inhale.