How to Respond to Minor Issues in the Workplace

Step 1: Laugh cryptically and turn away from your coworker towards a small table full of ornate flasks of liquor, pour yourself a snifter of brandy

Step 2: With your back still turned announce "You know, this operation would function quite a bit better IF YOU WERE NOT ATTEMPTING TO DESTROY ME!!"

Step 3: Hurl a flask at the wall or fireplace (if available) hard enough that it shatters immediately

Step 4: Elaborate "Do you think I can't bring this operation down with the wink of an eye?! You think I don't know what goes on in your little 'chairman's meetings'?! Get me?! I BROUGHT THIS FOUNDATION UP FROM THE GROUND WITH TOOTH OF DOG AND THE BLOOD UNDER MY EYES, I CAN BRING IT DOWN WITH EVEN GREATER FORCE!!"

Step 5: Apologize quietly. Carry on as if the issue never occurred