Crashing Into You ✅

Chapter 13: Kansas Speedway

Alex's POV

Dang it. So close but yet so far. 

He had that race won. He should've won that race after having to come back through the field after being spun on Lap 5 by Tyler Reddick. It's only deserving to see him win after an epic drive through all that traffic. 

Instead, it is Denny that screws it up for him and yes, I am blaming Denny. Denny knew what he was doing there, from messing with the air to the contact with Kyle getting in the wall. When have you ever seen Kyle just get in the wall by accident?

I should be focused on my guys. They need a pep talk and some encouragement as obviously finishing 25th is not what they want to be doing. But yet all I could do is focus on my teammate.

I hadn't talked to him since the kiss. We hadn't said a single word or text to each other in the past 72 hours. Do you know that never happens? We always have something to share with each other. Sometimes it is talking about the Cup car and practice or the track coming up. Sometimes it is comparing what line to take. There's also conversations about dirt races that we've ran, or coming up. Hey, did you see this event? Then if all else fails, we're talking about sprint car races that have happened and our reactions. 

It felt strange to not see my phone light up once courtesy of him, except when NASCAR made his spin on Lap 5 a highlight moment, and then the late-race battle with Denny.

His name appeared on my phone now. No, he wasn't texting or calling me - I damn well wish that was case. Instead, I had opened our text message screen. As soon as the checkered flag waved, I had picked up my phone and opened it up. I was ready to type something but froze when I saw his face on my television screen.

Why did it pain me so much to see him?

Deep breath. It would not seem odd if I sent him something, would it? I mean, he wouldn't be caught off guard by the message. It would not cross an unwritten line in the sand. It'd just be a pair of friends, teammates sharing encouragement. I appreciated messages of the same nature myself normally.

Nice rebound. You got robbed there, man. You should've had that one easy in the bank. 

It was a simple text message. Nothing fancy or over endearing - just the usual conversation any pair of friends would share after an incident of that nature. It seemed just part of the usual course of action.

The longer we didn't speak to each other, the more my heart had began to swarm. 

I was trying to focus on relaxing, keeping pain to a minimum - you know, following doctor's orders. They were pretty basic in the do not lift anything much at all, do not move your back much at all, but you are free to do everything else that you would normally do. It just made being out of the car more painful. 

Perhaps it was good to have a distraction from that - maybe not, I don't know. But he told me he didn't regret the kiss at all. He shared with me that he cared for me. He just wanted to give it space so we could both truly think things over. It was simple. So why was it making me go nuts thinking about it? 

The longer he didn't answer or talk to me, the more I worried if I did the wrong thing. What if I ruined our friendship? I hadn't ever been one to get close to teammates or anyone. What if I just screwed that up by stepping over lines that I should've known were there? Oh no - what was it going to be like working together when I came back? I could see the awkward meetings from miles away.

However, I couldn't stop myself that night. The feelings just took over me and I knew I had to share them. He had been so caring and perfect through everything to date that I wanted to thank him in the right way for that. And as he said, he cared about me and didn't regret the kiss. That should mean something, right? Maybe he was just busy and that was why I hadn't heard nothing. Our schedules were demanding enough, and we know he seemed to add the layer of crazy on top with the sprint car races. What if that was just eating at all of his time? 

He also had his wife and kids to care about. He had spent time away from them caring for me for those couple of weeks. He had spent day and night at my place, ensuring I had everything I needed. It'd be understandable if he needed to catch up on lost time with them. I think Owen had some big races coming up. Maybe he was doing those with him. That'd sound reasonable, right? 

I couldn't help but glance at my phone each time it went off with a new message, my heart only caring if it was one person in particular. However, time after time again, it was a letdown in seeing messages from everyone but Kyle. It was nice to see the guys check in with me. It was nice for Jake to confirm he was available to run the sprint car - scratch that, that was great news as he deserves the opportunity. It was nice to see Josh wasn't too discouraged despite the day he had. But what about Kyle? Where was my text message? 

Thanks man. Just how it goes sometimes, I guess. I'll make sure to come see you this week. 

My eyes and heart better not be doing a double take. Did I just read that message? Did I just see those words? He confirmed he is coming to see me this week, right? He confirmed that he isn't going to jump off the deep end but wants to see me. 

That has to mean something.....