The Kenneth House Murders

1

Birthday Eve - The Biggest Mystery in France's History.

Sluggishly swaying around in the earliest of the mornings, our adult protagonist of French origins received a message on a social media platform which shall not be named. Mind you, not for copyright reasons, but because writing the name in the present circumstances would be odd. In the media that we call fiction it is always odd to see phones that aren't of the flip type, and social media created past the 2010s.

Opening up the aforementioned application, our protagonist clicks on the notification coming from his adolescent friend: [From Lennin Mondragon - Kenneth I ...]

"Kenneth, I fucked up 💀"

"At this point I'm not even sure how to react. What did you do now?"

"Well, today's your birthday, innit?"

"It is."

"Remember I told you, 'I will write you a murder mystery in which you are the victim for your birthday?'"

"Yeah, you were talking about it 3 days ago, we even talked about how you were 8 pages in and had yet to write the mystery, and I told you 'You can take it easy and write it in english, I wouldn't blame you for your imperfect french anyway,' so, you finished it?"

"...That's the thing you see. I spent the last day or two writing it, pouring my soul into it. I Adjusted my fake glasses lifted up my fountain pen over my head as if to cut something with a katana, and used my 'KILLER TECHNIQUE, WORD SHOW ー文SHOW' to write something I thought would be a fun story to congratulate you for your birthday."

"Don't worry about it, I told you, the best birthday present would be you reading the book I just finished translating. So, what happened?"

"My Mac crashed...I didn't save the word document. And it's just too late to rewrite it...the first few lines were 'On August 5th's morning Kenneth was assaulted by 7 middle schoolers, hours later he passed away'. It was so goood 💀."

"Lennin's Mac try not to crash challenge (impossible)."

"Fr dude, you have no idea how mad I am right now, in shambles, crumbling into pieces, I am losing my grip on reality."

"Ooof, dw. I have a question tho, if you know your computer crashes often, why do you use Word? Google Docs has autosave on the cloud."

"..."

"You didn't think of it, did you..."

"Do you see me as the kind of guy who can problem solve?"

"True."

"Whatever the case, sorry for that. In exchange I got you the physical version for Higurashi, it should be arriving soon. I know you've been interested in that series as you're such a big Ryuukishi 07 fanatic. Umineko is your favorite VN of all time, so I thought gifting you this would be a nice idea."

"Lennin, I will murder you."

"Hehehe, sowwy."

"You know people may believe what you just wrote, right? They'll start joking and calling me a Ryuukishi fan. If it comes to that, I assure you, I'll ban you, and make sure this story never makes it out of the server."

"Wdym? Believe what I just wrote? It's the truth."

"/mute, user: Lennin Mondragon, duration: 5 minutes."