Going Up | ✓

New Beginnings - (24)

New Beginnings.

'Kung Fu Panda!'

I just about manage to refrain from rolling my eyes. 'We watched that last weekend,' I point out exasperatedly.

'But that was last weekend,' Oliver whines, shooting me a pleading face. 'I want to watch it again.'

I exhale, eventually throwing my arms up in defeat. 'Fine,' I glare at my son playfully. 'We can watch it again, if you insist. You grab it from the cupboard, while I go and get the popcorn, all right?'

He nods and happily complies with my suggestion.

I make my way into the quiet kitchen and grimace. It's Friday, the day after Bruce broke up with Maddie and she still isn't home from work.

After a moment of deliberation, I pull out my phone as I wait for the popcorn to be finished in the microwave.

Hey, Mads, are you coming home any time soon? Do you want me to make you any dinner or anything?

The microwave pings, distracting me. I quickly send the text and push it back into my pocket, taking the popcorn back into the living room.

I don't hear back from Maddie, which worries me a little.

All throughout the movie, I don't really pay attention to what is going on. I've seen it so many times before - it's Oliver's favourite and we watch it every few weeks - so it's not like I'm really missing very much when I let my mind drift to Ivan.

It's been a few weeks now since I last spoke to him and I haven't been able to get rid of the constant tight feeling in my chest. Everybody seems to have noticed that something is wrong, even my friends from work. My parents have probably noticed there's been something slightly off, although I've only seen them a couple of times since it happened. The lack of them needing them to babysit for me is probably knowledge enough. To my relief, they haven't said anything to me about it.

It's not that I refuse to talk about it, it's just that it makes me a little uncomfortable, because I still miss him so much.

A funny feeling settles in my stomach as I think about it.

You could have him back if you wanted. He made that perfectly clear last time you saw him.

My gaze transfers from the wall beside the TV to my son, who's intently watching the screen, not paying attention to me.

Could I risk putting him in the firing line because of my heartache?

I wince, glancing down at my lap and sigh. There's no telling that Ivan and I would be able to work out.

There's also no telling that we won't.

I exhale again in frustration. This is so ridiculously complicated.

I'm distracted from my internal debate when my phone vibrates. Pulling it out of my pocket, I realise it's a text from Maddie.

No, it's okay, don't bother making me anything. I will come home, I've just got a lot of work to finish up tonight, sorry! I should have texted you earlier, I just didn't realise it was this time already. I'll be at least another hour, please eat without me, I'll grab a takeaway or something on the way home!

I grimace at the text. She's an accountant whose boss makes her work long hours because she's so good at what she does. Luckily, she is paid overtime, but it still grates on my nerves that her boss requires so much of her.

Okay, that's fine, don't worry! Don't work yourself too hard.

I do attempt to pay attention to the movie once I've replied to her text, but I just can't pull my mind away from Ivan.