Going Up | ✓

Painful Goodbyes - (21)

Painful Goodbyes.

The next morning begins foggily and it takes me a few moments of just lying in bed before I realise that Ivan's probably still here.

Letting out a groan, I push back the bed covers and make my way into the living room, where I find Ivan still snoring away on the sofa.

Deciding to leave him for now, I go about making myself some breakfast. He's easier to deal with when sleeping.

I'm halfway through my second slice of toast when I feel a presence behind me.

Turning around in my chair, I nod at him. 'Morning.'

I don't really know where we stand after last night and from the look on his face, neither does he.

He offers me a slight smile, rubbing a hand over his face. 'Good morning, Poppy,' he murmurs quietly.

I can't help but notice that he's only in his boxers and shirt he was wearing last night. 'Uh,' I swallow uncomfortably. 'Help yourself to anything you want for breakfast and then you should probably get going.'

Raw pain flashes across his face at my words, but he only nods. While making himself a bowl of cereal, he suddenly freezes. 'Poppy,' he chokes out in a low voice. 'Poppy, where's Oliver?'

'Oh, he's at my parents' house,' I respond, relief running through me. I thought he was going to say something much worse. 'He was spending the night with them because I was going to go out last night.'

His tense shoulders slump in what could only be described as relief, but when he turns to face me, his eyes are swirling with agony. 'What was I thinking?' he whispers hoarsely. 'If he'd been here and I'd- I'd- oh, Poppy, I'm so sorry! I didn't even stop and think about the fact he could have been here-' he stops, taking deep breaths to calm himself down and rubs his temple as though he has a headache.

Of course. He's hungover.

After a minor internal debate, I murmur, 'I'll be back in a second,' and walk into the bathroom. In the cupboard, I locate a bottle of aspirin and give it to him when I arrive back in the kitchen. 'Sorry, you were saying?'

Ivan smiles gratefully, taking it from me and popping a couple of pills. 'Thanks, Poppy,' he nods. 'I was just... I'm so sorry about turning up in that state last night, even though I knew that Oliver could have potentially been here. That was so irresponsible of me, I'm so sorry.'

I nod at his apology. 'It's okay. He wasn't here, so there's no harm done.'

'But he might have been and what if I'd- what if I'd hurt him?' he whispers, his hand clenched into a tightly formed fist. 'I'm so sorry, I didn't even think about it before I came here, I just wanted to see you so badly and I-' he cuts himself off again, frustrated. 'I'm sorry.'

I offer him a little smile. 'It's all right, Ivan. Now have something to eat, it'll be good for you. There's coffee over there as well,' I point to one of the cupboards. 'I'm going to be back in a couple of minutes.'

I turn away and leave the room, going into my own to get changed. I pull on the first clothes I come across and quickly run a hand through my hair, checking in the mirror that it looks relatively all right.

When I enter the kitchen again, Ivan's already eaten his bowl of cereal and downed a whole mug of coffee.

'You all ready to go, then?'

His ice blue eyes meet mine and I almost groan, knowing that he's not. 'What is it?'

'Is there really nothing I can do?' he asks, vulnerability clearly displayed on his face. 'I miss you, Poppy, so much and I just- Please.'