Muzan: Pros and cons of dating me.
Muzan: Pros. You'll be the cute one.
Muzan: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-
Muzan, on the phone: So no head?
Muzan: *Throws phone and breaks skateboard*
Kokushibo : If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which on
Muzan: Two bros!
Muzan: Chillin' in a hot tub!
Muzan: Zero feet apart 'cause we're GAY AS FUCK!
Kokushibo : I would never say that my partner is a bitch and I don't don't like them. That's not true... My partner is a bitch and I like them so much!
Kokushibo : Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Muzan!
Muzan: You can't expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.
Muzan: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn't anyone around to help you? What if it's congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?
Kokushibo : ...You realize any other person that made their partner pass out on bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?
Muzan: Do you want to know your gay name?
Kokushibo : My... my gay name?
Muzan: Yeah, it's your first name-
Kokushibo : Haha. Very funny Muzan-
Muzan: *gets down on one knee* And my last name.
Kokushibo : Oh- oh my god.
Kokushibo : Relationships should be 50/50. Muzan cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty.
Muzan: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness—
Kokushibo : Hi.
Muzan: *melts down in a flustered heap of softness*
Muzan: Can you cut me some slack, Kokushibo ? I'm sort of in love.
Kokushibo : I'm sorry, but that's really not my problem.
Muzan: I'm in love with you.
Kokushibo : *blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.
Kokushibo : *Holding up a pack of pencils* These are kinda cute.
Muzan: Kokushibo , that's gay.
Kokushibo : We've been dating for 2 years—
Muzan: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers?
Kokushibo : Peonies, why?
Muzan:
Kokushibo : Were you going to get me flowers?
Muzan:
Kokushibo :
Muzan: ᶦᵗ'ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ
Muzan: BE A BETTER PERSON!
Kokushibo : WHY?!
Muzan: BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!
Kokushibo : Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?
Muzan: It was autocorrect.
Kokushibo : Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?
Muzan: Yes.
Muzan: Valentine's day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-
Kokushibo : I wrote you a poem.
Muzan, already crying: You did?
