Second Breakfast: A Sequel

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      Once I finished my breakfast and packed my squirmy lady sandwich in my lunchbox, I was ready with plenty of time. Before leaving I returned to the bedroom to check on my wife in bed. Following her graveyard shift she had just gotten into the bed around three hours before. I saw her blink and made my offer. "Want me to make you a breakfast sandwich before I leave babe?"

        Yawning, my wife nodded in gratitude, smiling. "Sure thanks hon."

      "Of course, how do you want the sandwich?"

       She pondered through her sleepiness, stretching her arms across the bedspread. "Uh, just toast a plain bagel, cheese, fried egg with the yolk a tad runny and.... Oh one of the dark-haired tinies." This was unsurprising. My wife being a blonde, she often joyed in devouring tiny brunette humans.

       "Coming up," I accepted, promptly returning to the heavenly breakfast aroma lingering in the kitchen.

Toasted bagels halves sprung from the toaster, an ideal light brown. As the prepackaged cheese melted on the hot bread I selected my wife's meaty morsel from the human cabinet. At first I reached for a little cheerio sized head of brown hair until I noticed that mini actually had natural blonde roots. Hard pass. Then I pinched a black-haired girl with a pentagram tattoo on her shoulder. "I remember you," I said regarding the resistant tiny. "Aren't you the one I caught stranded on the roadside on s earth?"

        "Yeah my car broke down and I had no cell service," said the little woman coldly from his yellowy knuckled fist.

       "Right," I nodded in acknowledgement. "You called me a cowardly milksop for targeting stranded prey... well let me show you what verbal abuse like that gets you in the giant neighborhood!" I slammed the cupboard shut, balling my fist around the tattooed girl. "You're about to be an egg yolk sop!"

       I flipped the egg in the skillet. Thankfully the sizzling oil cancelled out the foul mouthed remarks of my wife's breakfast sausage. Finally I stuffed a fluffy yellow bit of egg in her mouth to silence her. I dropped her on her back atop the fried egg. Her small chirps of pain from the hot oil were silenced when covered her with the other oblong slice of bread. Last second I remembered, opened the sandwich and squirted some ketchup along the brunette's thighs and torso. Dropping the bagel again, I waltzed upstairs to serve my wife.

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