didn't read the note on the polaroid picture

1 (bellys pov)

Everything that could have gone wrong, did, we had lost the house, I had lost both of the boys, destroyed their relationship, I was convinced they would never speak to each other again, that we had fallen back into the same place we were a month ago, but no, somehow, by the magic of Sussanah, and the magic of cousins, the house was in our hands again. 

It was my mom, she did it, she convinced Aunt Julia to back out of the sale, 

"When you can't control events in your life, control your reactions"

Laurel told me that when I went to her complaining to her about the deb ball, I knew it made Sussanah happy, but everything was different that summer, everything had changed, it all felt so messy. When I found out about the house being sold, it was more upsetting because it wasn't just about the house, it was about that house that was filled with cherished memories within the walls, laughter resonated, tears were shed, multiple times, and countless life milestones were celebrated all while we spent each summer there. Each creaky floorboard held a story, I memorized it all, and every faded photograph hanging on the walls spoke of times gone by. The scent of the candles Sussanah put of every night lingered in every corner, wrapping one in a warm embrace of nostalgia. It was more than just a house; it was a sanctuary where love and connection flourished. The echoes of laughter and the whispers of memories fade, the profound loss serves as a poignant reminder of the fleeting nature of life, A home to me, more a home than my home ever was. That house was everything you could ever imagine, set to be packed up in one single day, I knew I should have seen it coming, going to the board walk, and what sucked it that is was such a good day, everything felt like going back to those summers so may years before, also spending that day with Conrad  made me remember why I loved him so much, well, used to love him.

Everything comes back to me like a whirlwind of feelings that swirl around me like a tempestuous storm whenever Conrad Fisher comes into view. I still get those heart flutters like the wings of a thousand butterflies, intoxicated by his mere presence, that I don't think will ever go away. He's almost like a gentle current, his voice washes over me, it's the most comforting feeling. Yet, within this tidal wave of emotion that I used to feel, a subtle undercurrent of uncertainty becomes like a pit in my stomach. The fear of vulnerability against the undeniable pull of attraction, still knowing what went on between me and Jeremiah, how we left it. But that has blown past with Conrad and I, it had too eventually, because now it's me, and Jeremiah.

"You can't keep doing this shit Belly!" I glared into his eyes, I could barley see his face because of the light surrounding us, I grabbed Jere's arm and pulled him outside so I could hear him better over the music, I honestly didn't know what he was going to say. We stopped behind a bush, the music was still loud, but muffled, I looked him in the eyes again, before I could speak, he clenched his jaw and said "If you want to be with Conrad , then go for it, but I'm not going to be the shoulder you cry on the next time he fucks you over" I was almost angry, not at him, but at myself, "You know that's all he does right? It's all he's ever going to do" I didn't know how to speak at this point, I wanted to say so much but the words just weren't coming out. I didn't want the night to be like this, all of us were going back to school in two days, we were headed home tomorrow, the night was supposed to be fun. "I would treat you right, I wouldn't put you through any of the shit that he put you through" He was speaking with his hands, flinging his pointing finger around, clearly angry, "Belly!" I hadn't even had a chance to speak yet,  we both spun our heads around to see where the voice was coming from, It was Conrad, standing on the Porch steps, holding something, I looked back to Jeremiah, he was looking at me the whole time, "Do what you want Belly" That was the last thing he said, "Jere-" I started, he was already walking away in Conrad's direction, I hadn't stepped out from behind the bush yet, I only did when I heard the sliding door shut, I had tears in my eyes, Conrad was still standing on the porch, I started walking toward him, wiping my cheeks as I did, I stopped in front of him, at least two steps away, I had my head down, "Are you ok?" He said, With him I found my words, "I'm fine" I said, sternly, I couldn't let him get back in again, "I just- uh" I looked up at him, and then he looked down at the thing in his hand, "I, um, I have to go, I have class tomorrow so I was just coming to say goodbye" This was the last thing I wanted to happen, I didn't want him to leave "And I wanted to give you this" he held out his hand, in it was the Polaroid Picture we took last week at the party, I smiled, every so slightly, before taking it out of his hand and looking at it again "Thank you" I said, looking back up at him, his eyes were bright, "That's ok" he said back, I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around his neck, there was a warmth about Conrad, something that felt like home, he dug his head into my neck "I'll see you soon" I said gently, he nodded, "You know I'll always be here" He took a breath, it sent goosebumps down my neck all the way down to my toes "I'll always be here for you, you know that right?"  I nodded, and slowly started pulling away, he put his forehead to mine, I let him "Belly-" I couldn't do this, not right now, "Conrad I can't..." His face went weak, like I had slapped him in the face or something, "Belly" he whispered, tears started forming in my eyes again "I just can't" I whispered back, I had been holding onto his wrist, I let go of it and walked toward the sliding door, I wondered if he would come after me, what would I do if he did? I started to make my way through the people In the living room, and there he was, Jeremiah, he didn't look angry, his face was soft "Belly!" I heard again, It sound like an echo, I looked behind me, it was Conrad calling for me, he was standing in the middle of a crowd of people I looked back to Jeremiah, then back to Conrad, then to Jeremiah again, I couldn't do it anymore, feel trapped, it was the most frightening feeling, drowning in a place with no water, I just let my feet take me were they wanted, everything was muffled, I felt the need to make a decision, maybe I wouldn't feel trapped anymore, my eyes were blurry, I took two steps in Conrad direction and then stopped, I looked at his face, to be able to let go of him, it feels like I would have to let go of who I have been, but I think that's the purpose, I started walking toward Jeremiah, I don't know why, but everything in my body was flowing, moving that way, my eyes were locked with his, I stopped directly in front of him, he looked me in the eyes and said "Why me?" he genuinely wanted a reason, at this exact moment in time I could not think of one reason why I was in front of him right now other than letting go of Conrad, but I wasn't going to say that to him so I said, "Why not you" I took his face in my arms and kissed him, I kissed Jeremiah, when I pulled back, I was almost shocked with myself, he had his hands on my waist, he was smirking, so I smiled back, we stood there for a minute, taking in what just happened, he grabbed my hand "I'm going to tell Steven were leaving" he said, I nodded, licking my lips "Ok" he kissed me again and started to walk off, I was stuck in the position he left me standing in, oh god, Conrad called for me, I turned around, Conrad was still standing in the same place I saw him, he was watching us the whole time, he was watching ME the whole time, he saw me walk to Jeremiah, he watched me kiss Jeremiah, that whole time, I felt like crying, but I had to remind myself that there a difference between giving up and letting go, I felt like I had tried too many times with him. He started walking in my direction he didn't look at me once before reaching the stairs and running up them, I followed after him, I had no idea what room he had gone into, so I just stood in the hallway, my heart was beating so fast, My head flung around when I heard a door open, Conrad walked about, Jeremiah following after him, I had no idea what just happened, I thought I had just blacked out, "You ready" Jere said grabbing my hand again, Conrad was walking down the stairs again, I looked at Jeremiah, "Yeah" I said, with a forced smile, we left.