The Warmth In Pain

1. First Meet

Lucas
A few months ago

Though I pretended to not know her when she was talk of the school, I remembered her from the Fourth of July at San Diego.

She was wearing a purple sundress that was covering her mint green bikini and her hair was half-way dyed a cotton candy pink, only reaching a little under her chin. I remember that because it was the first I'd seen someone so beautifully mismatched.

I watched her then, wondering who she was.

My parents and my brother were searching for seashells in the sand. My parent were happy that day, or at the least content. Not one of them was picking a fight, or drinking, for the matter. Sloane was probably off somewhere with her best friend, Beatrice. It was the first time I could close my eyes and pretend that everything was alright in my life, but instead I kept them open to look at her.

She was in a fight with a guy at least twice her age and I was too far away to hear them but I had always been pretty good at reading people. Tears were flowing out her eyes and dripping onto the sand. Her eyes were bloodshot and slightly swollen. The skin on her nose and cheeks was tinged red. Her words rushed out her mouth, stumbled through the wind and turned nonsensical before they reached my ears.

Her face held rage and an undying fire. The fire cracked and writhed around, setting everything close by on fire. The fire slowly withered into resentment, disbelief and melancholy. I wondered what the man had said to bring out such different emotions from her.

The man had a long scar down the side of his cheek, unkempt stubble and what I can only describe as an alcoholic nose, obviously broken way too many times in fights I didn't want to know about. Several rings adorned his fingers and in his red shirt, blue flannel and denim jeans, he looked like a stereotypical drug dealer.

Oh, wait.... he was a drug dealer.

He looked down at her with annoyance in his eyes. The same eyes he had used to stare down Matt and convince him that it was okay to mess his whole life up for one moment of adrenaline and euphoria.

The man shook his head at her, turning away and I watched her crumple to the floor, her tears turning the bright day dark.

It wasn't in my mind to walk to her, I swear, but I couldn't help myself. I stood up dusting the sand off my shorts and stalked up to her colorful figure.

Act cool. Act cool. Act cool. Act cool. Act cool.

"Hey, you alright there?" my voice broke in the middle, proving my mantra didn't actually work.

"Go away," She said.

Damn, how nice of her.

"You look..." Disturbed? Sad? Unfathomably gorgeous? "...lost," I decided.

She laughed dryly,"You practically described my entire shitty ass day." She finally looked up and my breath caught in my throat. Her eyes were green and glistened with unshed tears but the previous moment's melancholy was gone replaced with humor.

I lowered my hand towards her without a second thought.

She hesitated for a moment before intertwining our finger.

Alright, maybe not too bad.

I helped her onto her feet. "Who was that guy?" I ask though I knew the answer.

"Just my dad," she answered, surprising me. I knew damn well he was the local drug supplier but nothing about if he was a dad. But it wasn't just that, it was the way she said it, she acted as if he meant as much to her as the mud on her shoe. Like he hadn't managed to make her cry two minutes ago.

I nodded up at her, lost for words.

She laughed a dry laugh, "By the expression on your face, you know him." She shook her head,"The drug dealer's daughter, whatever I did in my last life to earn that title."

It was the barely concealed rage in her words that made me wonder if it was more than just the fact he was a drug dealer and considering the argument I saw earlier, he wasn't winning any father of year awards.

"Did you come here with him?" I spoke the first thing that came up ⤴ he to my mind and didn't sound judgmental but I still wasn't sure if it was the right thing to say.

"No, I came here with my boyfriend." I liked the fact that she didn't come here with her creep of a father but the fact that she had a boyfriend was worse for me, somehow. You'd think I had known her for longer that a minute by the way I deflated on the inside.

"Oh." Act cool. Act cool. Act cool. Act cool. Act cool. "Good to know." Even with my deteriorated thoughts on my self worth, I'm usually way smoother, I swear.

She had a look on her face, a gleam in her emerald eyes that told me I don't have a chance against the lucky motherfucker she was dating. I don't think she even noticed my awkward response to her admission.

I imagined what it would be like to be in the thoughts of someone while they had that look on their face. My throat clogged up with emotion, I've never had that with anyone and probably never will but it was nice to think of it.

"Coming to think of it," continued the girl, oblivious to my slight mental break down, "I should probably get back to him now." Part of me considered asking for her number but the other part knew that all I would've done with it was stare at it when I was lonely and wonder who the hell she was and what she would be doing with her life.

Making up pretend stories about people you didn't know was easy for me. Reality wasn't as easy and it was somehow twice as disappointing. So, I just watched her walk away.

I watched her look around for him. I watched her find him and run into his arms. I watched him smile and wrap his arms around. I was still watching her when I realized I didn't know her name. I then watched her walk away, still in his arms.

I kept watching, on the sidelines, the way I always have and always will.

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A/N: Sometimes I'm glad I don't have any fans because if I did they'd kill me for how long I take to publish.
All my love to who ever that's reading, my cinnamon rolls.
Thanks for reading and please vote if you liked the chapter.