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Its finally Saturday which means i'll hangout with ancela today! Saturdays are kind of ' our days '
We did the usual, going to a place to eat, talk about everything, especially drama. I swear her family has new drama every second. We were hanging out for hours and having fun. But then i get a text from Viet. I look at ancela before i answer.
VIET Viet - hey wyd?
I'm with Ancela! wbu? -
Viet - oh i was wondering if you wanted hangout later?
I get supper shocked and asked Ancela for her opinion. She told me that i should go. So i agreed.
sure, let me just go home first and change to warmer clothes-
My heart started beating very fast. I started getting very nervous. I don't usually like meeting new people, plus i've never hung out with a boy before. So i didn't even wanna go. Well i did, but i was just scared it would be awkward. Im just a person who tries to avoid any kind of awkwardness in life.
- Ancela what should i do? i don't even wanna do this and idk how to behave
- Just be yourself, it's gonna be okay AND UPDATE ME, she responded
- I will don't worry
Man this is getting real, like i'm actually gonna hangout with him? no that's so awkward. I started thinking and thinking. Like this is the first time i'm ever hanging out with a guy outside school? What do you even do with guys? I started panicking when i looked at the time, knowing i'll meet him in 10 minutes. I told my mom goodbye and left the house. Me and Viet we're planning on feeding ducks together. Very cute! But the thought of not having anything to talk about haunted me. I really didn't want it to be awkward. " get a hold of yourself bella, stop overthinking " i told myself and eventually calmed down.
I arrived to the bus stop, so did he. We arrived at the same time and he greeted me with a hug. I hugged him back and suddenly after that hug, i started feeling weird. Like more nervous than i should be, since he's just a guy friend right? No feelings can be involved and especially not when he has a girlfriend. We started talking and honestly it wasn't that bad in the beginning. I guess we both were kind of awkward since it's our first time actually hanging out but it wasn't bad at all. Then we got on the bus and sat beside each other. I was super nervous since we were so close, but we both listened to music so it wasn't awkward or anything. I could feel my heartbeat go faster every time i felt his thigh on mine. I tried my best to not shake my legs. I tend to do that a lot when i'm nervous.
But after a time that felt like hours, we arrived.
We went to the store to buy bread for the ducks. And actually, we had a great time. Like we talked like we've known each other for years. It wasn't awkward at all and always had something to talk about without it being forced. When we got down to the ducks, i got super happy since i absolutely love animals! we sat down and started feeding them. The ducks got crazy over the bread. It was so funny which made us laugh at it too. As time passed, we had some deep talk. And honestly, i felt very safe around him. As we were talking, i suddenly felt a warm hand on my thigh. I look down to see his hand removing the bread crumbs that got on my thighs which made me flustered. * shit * i think to myself. Like no way this happened. There's no way i'm falling for this dude. After that incident, he got more comfortable around me. So sometimes he hugged me when it got cold, trying to jokingly push me into the water and stuff. I gotta admit, i had a great time.
As time passed, i realized it was getting late. I told him i need to be home soon. So we started to walk back to the bus stop. While walking, he realized he forgot his headphones at the duck place. So he ran back. While he was running, i called Ancela and told her about it so far. I didn't have much time tho since he was running very fast. He was back in like 2 minutes. After some time, the bus came and we were on our way home! As we got onto the bus, he decided to sit in front of me. So he often started kicking my feet, playing with me and laughed. It was funny but kind of annoying since i want to enjoy my music while sitting on a bus. But i couldn't hide the fact that i was blushing.
After a while, we arrived to the last bus stop. I thanked him for today. I was unsure wether to hug him or not. I didn't feel like it was right since he had a girlfriend. But he went in for a hug so we hugged goodbye. While walking home i called Ancela and said that we have to meet the next day to discuss this. She agreed on it and was very excited ( i hope )
When i got home i greeted my mom, feeling guilty since she didn't know i was actually hanging out with a boy and not Ancela. I felt so bad for lying but just couldn't tell her the truth yet. As i went into my room, i realized that i literally smelled like him. I didn't complain.. but i changed my clothes and put the other ones in the washing machine. When i was done getting comfortable to bed. I started thinking about my day today and couldn't stop smiling. But then all of the sudden i felt something wet running down my cheeks. I was crying. Why was i crying? ( i'm laughing while writing this BAHAHHAHAHA) Then it hit me, i was crying because i knew he would meet his girlfriend the next day for the first time ( they had long distance ) Being close with her like he was with me, but more. Like he's obviously gonna kiss her. And the thought of him kissing another girl broke my heart. And that's when i realized that shit, i caught feelings for him. I didn't want this to be real. So i just forced myself to sleep, hoping i'll get over it the next day.
