The Superpower of Plot Armor - The Praetorian x M! Reader

Chapter Three - Complaining About Your First Day...

Chapter Three - Complaining About Your First Day on the Job to Portia Over the Phone

“You did what!? All this time, I’ve been so worried, and you’ve just been hanging out at your job with the people we tried to rob!? Why the fuck didn’t you call me!?” Portia screamed into the phone, literally panicking over the situation at the moment.

It had been a week since you began your work with The Praetorian and The Bastard, and honestly? You definitely weren’t that good at it. But, that wasn’t the worst part. No, no, no, it definitely wasn’t. The worst part was…

For the first week, they didn’t let you have your damn phone!

“‘I just want to test things out,’ he said, ‘make sure you don’t betray me first,’ he said, SO HE TOOK MY FUCKING PHONE!” you whined into the microphone, rolling over in your bed with annoyance. “For a whole week! That’s why I couldn’t call you!” However, all of your pent up hatred for that rule faded when you got it back. And the first thing you did with your phone…

Was to dial your best friend’s number to complain about your new job. Well, and to catch up on everything.

“Okay, okay,” Portia huffed, calming herself down. “So let me get this straight.”

“Not straight.”

She gave a dry laugh over the speakers. She was at least glad that you were able to joke around. That meant that you were in… well, at least, livable conditions. “Okay. Let me get this gay,” she corrected herself.

“Now you got it!”

“So after we tried to rob those bitches, and I teleported away, you somehow had such a spectacular sales pitch that they managed to hire you?”

“Yep!”

“And you’re just… totally fine? Uninjured? Working as a bodyguard for The Bastard alongside who we used to think was a superhero?”

“Pretty much,” you said nonchalantly. “You got the gist of it.”

“Oh my god, Y/N…” she said, and you could tell she was just shaking her head on the other side. “I’m surprised you’re not dead, with how much you run your mouth.”

“Ehe!”

“Don’t ehe me! Be grateful you’re alive!”

You chuckled, adjusting your hold on the phone. “I am, I am grateful, Portia,” you assured her. “There were a lot of close calls, though.”

“Oh fuck, Y/N!” you were pretty sure she just had a heart attack on the other end. “I knew it was dangerous!”

“No, no, I was fine, that’s how I’m talking to you right now! And it was definitely over stupid shit, don’t worry.”

“Well, let’s hear this stupid shit, then,” she requested.

“Very well… the first thing that happened was because I really wanted to call you, but they confiscated. My. Fucking. Phone. So, I did some stuff to try and reach you.”

“Okay, so you were the one doing stupid shit,” she clarified.

You huffed, offended. “How dare you assume that! Of course I was doing the stupid shit! You should already know!”

She sighed on the other end, and you could practically see her pinching her nose bridge in your mind. “How are you not dead…”

With that, you began the tale of your first day on the job.

.

Okay, so basically, you… were not happy.

You had gotten a good night’s rest at the guest room, of course, and walked out alive after that near-death situation. All pretty good things, if you were being honest.