The Love You Want

Chapter Four: Unveiling Emotions

So ito pala ang sinasabi ni Kole na magiging complicated ang work-life ko dito sa Pilipinas. I'm ashamed to think that I regret coming here now. Kumusta na kaya ang New York? Tatanggapin pa naman nila ako doon kung babalik ako, diba?

Sabagay wala naman silang opinion doon kung babalik ako o hindi. I need to tell someone to book me a ticket now. I don't think kakayanin ko pa'ng manatili dito. I can't stand staying here even just for a minute. Tila ba para akong isang object na hindi nila maintindihan sa mga titig na binibigay nila sa akin ngayon.

"What nonsense are you talking about, Kyla?" Halos pabulong na tanong ni Lolo. Halata sa boses niya na hindi niya in-expect ang sinagot kong iyon.

In my peripheral vision, I saw my father stood up. Hindi ko alam kung out of rage or gulat, but maybe a combination of both. I refuse to look at him when I know what his exact reaction look like right now.

"I'm sorry, Chairman. I don't think I'm fit enough to become the CEO. I am still yet to learn a lot in order to be called worthy of that title."

Maraming mga bulong-bulungan ang umugong sa loob ng meeting room.

"I am not saying this is a matter where you have the luxury to decide," said Chairman. "You will become CEO, whether you think you're worthy enough or not."

"Chairman, I—"

"Meeting adjourned." Everyone stood up and took their leave. Some threw me disappointed glances, while the others knew it would be better to just leave.

Naiwan na lamang na kaming tatlo ni Dad at Lolo sa loob. Chairman Wong was pinching his temple in distress while my father... Well, I expected him to shout or curse at me but it did not happen.

"In front of the goddamn council... Why?" Wika ni Dad. He wasn't looking at me with those typical piercing gaze though, it's as if he couldn't even do that much out of shame.

"I apologize, Chairman. I really don't think I can handle the responsibility of becoming Chief Executive," I answered honestly.

I know what I did brought utter humiliation toward my grandfather and probably even tainted the honor of being CEO in front of the council, pero hindi ko kayang magsinungaling para lang mag-suffer in the end. I know why they're doing this, they're doing it because they want to show our rival Exodus that we can also fit in with the ever-changing society. That Los Altos has its own representative of that 'young CEO succeeding the market.' But I'm not going to sign up for that, it's too petty of a reason to ruin the worth of such title.

I am not going to deny the temptation of wanting to say yes. I've been working for the company for 10 years and it's all I've been aiming ever since. Pero to think that the idea surfaced just because the rival company emerges to threaten ours, is highly insulting. So magiging CEO ako, hindi dahil sa na-contribute ko sa company, or sa mga nagawa ko, but because it is a must to counter the rival?

"I told you already, you don't have a say in this anymore. You are going to be CEO and you will be officially appointed tomorrow," said Chairman in a stern manner.

Tomorrow?!

"I understand the situation we are in, Chairman, but isn't this too sudden? I am, after all, taking this big responsibility on my shoulder. I should at least have a word on this," I protested, trying my best to calm my tone.

He stomped his cane on the tiled floor and gave me a look I couldn't fully decipher apart from the visible frustration on it. "Our company is in the verge of fallout. The second we waste here talking, our sale's are depleting. Do you think I would do this if it's not an urgent matter?"

Natahimik ako.

I did not think it was that serious.

"Chairman, may I?" Singit ni Dad, for a moment I forgot about him being in the same room. "I think we should just think this through. We cannot force her if she refuses. Masyado na tayong nagsasayang ng oras. Let's appoint someone else instead."