When All Hell Breaks Loose

Week One: Emotion Identification - Sae

Sae got out of the uber and took his two massive suitcases up the drive. He hated this and everything about it, so he just tried to focus on putting one foot in front of the other. If he focused on this moment, just what was in front of him, the worst problem in his life was whether to knock or ring the bell.

He opted for knocking. They were expecting him, so it didn't take long for the door to open. Suddenly, the problems in his life were returning and forcing him to confront them.

Rin stood there, looking blank faced, which he appreciated. His normally overactive husband, who was peeking around his arm, looked awfully solemn. Which he did not particularly appreciate.

"Hi, Sae-chan," he greeted him. His voice matched his face.

Rin didn't greet him in any respect. He just looked down at the suitcases. "You need help with those?"

"No," Sae answered, even though it would have been nice.

He was here for help of some kind, was he not? Still, it seemed near impossible to accept it. He figured it would be a work in progress and left it at that.

"Alright, then," Rin said, stepping aside to let him in. "Make yourself at home."

At Meguru's insistence, Sae left his bags at the door. Because he didn't immediately need anything from them, he figured it was a kindness he could provide.

The air was tense in the living room. Rin told him to make himself comfortable. Sae got a sudden knee jerk urge to stay standing just out of spite. He forced himself to sit. Meguru asked if anyone wanted tea, and left before anyone responded. The silence was all the kindness Sae really had in him. Rin seemed to pace a little, uneasily, and then forced himself to sit as well.

Rin didn't know what to say, and Sae didn't particularly feel like saying anything, so neither of them spoke.

Meguru came back with the tea. One cup, which he handed to Sae. He almost looked cheerful. This is for you, Sae-chan! But it was so painfully fake, that Sae couldn't bear to say thank you. He couldn't bear to say anything, so he didn't. He just took the cup. When it burned his fingers, he told himself that he didn't care.

He left and returned with two more cups, one for himself and one for Rin. This time, he sat. Next to Rin, so close they were pressed into each other. Like they needed each other for warmth. Or protection against Sae. Like his bad luck was contagious. They were both seated across from him too, which made Sae feel like he was about to be interviewed. Or interrogated.

"How are you?" Meguru asked.

So, this was an interrogation.

"I'm fine," Sae answered. It was automatic.

"It's okay if you're not," Meguru said, almost offensively softly. Sae was only semi-successful at keeping the look of distain off his face. "No one would judge you. Anyone would have a hard time going through a divorce."

"I'm not going through a divorce," Sae snapped. It was true, but just barely. Still, it was a truth he clung to with all the ferocity he had. "We're doing a trial separation. We're still married."

Meguru nodded. He sipped his tea, and then said nothing else.

That was all the noise in the room for a while. The lifting of glasses off of the coffee table, the placing of them back down. The sipping, the swallowing, the breathing. The noises of shifting and throats clearing. Every other sound of discomfort in between.

The first sound in the room was Meguru asking if anyone needed a refill. Sae shook his head.

"I'll take one," Rin said, handing his cup over. "With honey this time, if you don't mind."