[On Hold!] Swift and Painless (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 10: It's Different Now

Louis’s POV

I didn’t want to come out of the bathroom. I just wanted to sit in there and forget every lost and confusing emotion I was feeling. I didn’t want to think about Harry, waiting out there to talk to me and figure out why I was so upset. I didn’t want to even begin to figure out what was going on, because I was so lost in my own feelings and thoughts that I couldn’t even begin to think I’d be able to find my way out.

I sighed and placed my hands on the edge of the sink, leaning my weight on it and hanging my head. My thoughts flickered back to all of the pictures and tweets I was getting before. All of them asking how I felt about the Haylor relationship or why I wasn’t with Harry. The Larry shippers really were shameless when it came to asking such direct questions while knowing they bothered me. And the questions really did bother me. I hated reading them. I hated getting so many of them. It infuriated me.

But I wasn’t angry for the reasons I normally felt at all of this. It was different. All of the anger and discomfort I felt from seeing constant tweets and messages, it just made me want to scream. But it wasn’t because I was mad because it wasn’t true. It just made whatever pit I had in my stomach from actually seeing Haylor all over each other and knowing Harry stayed there without me, grow. It hurt so much more. And then I finally just saw that little collage thing and I thought I could literally feel something in me snap. Maybe that was just the one picture that pushed me past my breaking point. Maybe my inner turmoil just turned out to be too much. Maybe I accepted something that my brain hasn’t quite figured out yet.

But whatever it was, it didn’t make me angry. It hurt me. More than I thought physically possible. For some reason I found myself sitting there in tears, not understanding anything anymore.

And of course that was the time he just had to come home. I couldn’t let him see me in tears, because I wasn’t going to be able to explain why. Especially if I didn’t know myself.

And that brings me to where I am now.

“Boo Bear…” I heard the heart breaking voice from outside the door. I wasn’t sure if it was because of what he called me, how he said it, or if it was just because it was his voice.

I couldn’t help it. I let out a sob and slowly sank to the ground, my back pressed against the door. What was happening to me? Can someone just please tell me why I fucking feel like this.

“Boo… please open the door.” Harry begged. I just buried my head into my hands further and tugged at my hair as the tears fell from my eyes. The only thing that was running through my head were damn images of him an Taylor. I couldn’t get it out of my head.

I heard a noise come from the door and then the sound of his back sliding down against it on the other side, and I knew he was sitting exactly like I was on the other side, his back pressed against the door, his knees hugged tightly to his chest, and maybe, just maybe, he felt as confused as I did.

My cries quieted down until it was just the occasional sniffle. I heard his heavy breathing coming through the door and I could tell from their rough patterns that he was now about to, or already, crying as well.