[On Hold!] Swift and Painless (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 11: New Year's Realizations

Harry’s POV

So far, this past week has sucked.

That’s the only thing I can even think of saying right now.

Nothing feels right. No matter what I do, I just feel uncomfortable in every way and dull pain sitting like a lump in my stomach, eating away at me slowly.

It fucking sucks.

What’s worse is probably the reasoning behind it.

I mean I wish it could be something other than what I’m 99% sure it actually is.

Why couldn’t it just because I was sick, or Taylor and I got into a fight?

Why do I have to keep picturing Louis every five seconds?

Why can’t I just forget about him for a week?

Why can’t I just move on?

I can’t even begin to say how many times I have stared at his contact in my phone and contemplated calling him, just to hear his voice. But at the same time I didn’t want to because I wanted to see if he tried to contact me first. I wanted to see if he actually missed me.  I mean I hadn’t spoken to any of the other lads since I got to America either, but I wasn’t longing to speak to or hear from them. Then again, not like they would actually want to talk to me anyway.

In fact Louis is probably the person out of all of them that wanted to talk to me the least. I mean, I left him on his birthday. Sure I had to go home to see my family on Christmas, but I had been planning on staying for at least most of the party before taking off. But me being the selfish dick I am, I left not even five minutes after he got there.

And all because I couldn’t stand to watch him be with Eleanor.

It’s gotten bad, how much my tolerance for the couple had deteriorated.

I can’t even hear Eleanor’s name without my stomach twisting into a painful knot.

“Harry?” My girlfriend called out, walking out of the bathroom and over to where I sat on the hotel bed as she ran a hand through her hair. I looked up from my phone at her curiously.

“Are you ready babe? We have to get going in a bit. I have to get ready for my performance tonight.” She explained, straightening out her clothes. I nodded silently at her.

“Alright, I’ll be out in two minutes.” She said before disappearing back into the bathroom. I sighed and went back to looking at my phone. I was scrolling through twitter and somehow ended up just staring at picture after picture of Louis. I mean I knew it was because I had done it. I heard purposely looked up these pictures of my best mate. I just wish I hadn’t. I wished I didn’t do this to myself.

I found an old picture of Louis and I from The X-Factor, our arms wrapped tightly around each other’s waists as we smiled brightly into the camera. We looked so young and childish. Nothing mattered then. It didn’t matter what the fans thought. It didn’t matter how close we were or if we came off as ‘gay’. We were best mates. Inseparable. That’s what mattered. The fact that we were with each other.