Threads of Destiny (Tom Kaulitz) eng vers

Chapter 12: Stalker

My vision blurs as tears continue to stream down my face. I wander through the unfamiliar streets of Cologne, unable to communicate as I left my bag in the club's cloakroom. Vulnerability engulfs me in that moment. Adorned and intoxicated, I traverse random paths, risking getting lost. But I don't care about any of that. Tom's words resonate, stabbing me; my breath hitches under sobs. Exhausted from my frenzied walk in heels and overwhelmed by tears, I finally collapse on the edge of a sidewalk. My energy is drained, just like my heart.I place my trembling hands on my face, fingers gliding over my tear-dampened skin. A wave of shame washes over me as I realize how swept away I've become by my emotions. Crying for such an idiot, for someone who doesn't deserve a single one of my tears. I despise myself, repeating that mantra tirelessly, for letting myself be charmed by his sweet words, for letting myself be cradled by the illusion of being special in his eyes. My sobs become almost an echo of my own disappointment, a disappointment in myself for being so naive, for believing in something that was nothing but a carefully woven illusion.

Minutes stretch on endlessly, and I remain there, lost in my own bubble of solitude. No one comes to meet me, no one asks what's wrong. Strangely, I find a certain comfort in this solitude. It's as if I need this moment for myself, to confront my tormented emotions away from curious eyes. I want to be alone with my distress, without any witnesses to add to my embarrassment. The city lights dance before my misty eyes, forming blurry patterns that reflect the chaos within me.

Yet, through the bubble I've created around me, voices begin to pierce through, distant and indistinct. They seem to call out to me, uttering my name in an echoing chorus that resonates in my consciousness. I furrow my brows, surprised and confused. Who could be looking for me here, in such a vulnerable and undignified state? My heart tightens at the thought of being discovered in this moment of weakness, and yet, a part of me hopes that it's someone coming to check on me. The voices draw closer, becoming more audible, but I remain still, unable to respond, fearing both being seen and being ignored.

I try to calm myself, wiping away my tears in case someone comes to see me. I want to keep my head held high despite my deplorable state, but my stuffy nose and likely still-red eyes threaten to betray me. Two figures that were distant until now are heading toward me, quickening their pace and calling my name with concern. I recognize the voices of Romy and Gustav. I swallow tears that threaten to overflow, trying to keep them trapped in my constricted throat. My reddened eyes meet Romy's worried gaze as she hastily leans down to help me up.-

"Oh my God, Maya, what were you thinking?" exclaims Romy with a relieved sigh.

I simply rise to my feet without saying a word. I struggle to stand, preferring action over words. Words feel like precipices I don't want to risk, fearing that merely speaking might drag me into an uncontrollable whirlwind of tears.

"Tom informed us that you left the club without knowing where you were going," Gustav says in a soothing voice to calm me.

"That jerk could have stopped me instead of causing a panic," I complain, my voice tinged with irritation.

Romy hands me my bag. I give her a grateful look, and we start walking in an oppressive atmosphere. I feel terribly humiliated, ashamed to be seen in such a state. It's as if all the passersby's eyes are fixed on me, transmitting their pity. The sensation of being scrutinized, evaluated, intensifies my discomfort, adding an extra weight to my sorrow.Suddenly, Romy gently squeezes my hand in hers, offering silent but comforting support. Beside me, Gustav walks in silence, his soothing presence a testimony of his support. As we continue on in this understanding silence, Gustav finally breaks it.

"Don't worry, Georg isn't aware," he says softly, trying to alleviate my worries.

A sigh of relief almost escapes me inadvertently. My greatest fear would have been for Georg to know about my state and that Tom was the cause. Despite despising him to the core for what he's done to me, I wouldn't want this incident to cause hostilities within the band or worse. My shoulders relax slightly, and I gently tighten my grip on Romy's hand, letting the comforting warmth of their presence gradually envelop me.