I can feel your ghost starting to slip away. Even though I still crave the feel of your arms around me whenever I try to sleep.
I still remember those days when I was too tired to think and you held me and me and I could feel myself growing stronger.
I still remember how I threw my arms around you the last time I saw you, for some reason those small perfect moments are still with me.
And I remember you telling me you would never hurt me, not ever. But you did.
I am hurting because you're not here.
I got so lost in the facts that I didn't realize how important you were to me. I never stopped and thought what it would be like to lose you, maybe if I had I wouldn't have lost you.
Maybe you'd still be here if only you know how much I cared.
I moved out of my room today, you've never seen this part of the house, it makes it harder to see you in the doorway.
I still can't make myself watch that stupid show again, I'm scared I'll remember more, I already remember the nights spent in your room when I almost had to force you to pay attention to the horror on the screen.
I remember the way you used to look at me, so intensely I couldn't bare it.
And when you said you loved me I could barely think and my mind was screaming that it was a lie.
And now I'm laying here in the middle of the night wondering if it was all a lie, if you put up with me as a joke.
Why can't I just let go? You're gone so why don't I let the memories of you go too? You walked into my life so abruptly and then you left as if a storm tore you away, not even bothering to say goodbye.
