Loud but empty

Mirrors

Mirrors..the object she hated the most in the house.nobody really knew why she did that but she had no mirrors in her room.Everyone was curious why but she never really gave a valid reason why. Only if they knew why. If we go back in time,you wouldn't believe that this girl now was the girl in the past who used to admire mirrors.everywhere she went,without gazing herself in the mirror she just couldn't do well. Staring at her reflection in the mirror for hours,at her blue colour ocean eyes and tiny lips which everyone longed for. She could stay watching herself in the mirror for hours without getting bored and pictures. But growing up,a lot of stuff changed along with the perspective of herself in the mirror. Years went by and the oh-so-loved reflection of herself became hatred by her own self. She couldn't even look into her own eyes without pointing out her own flaws. 5 seconds and those were enough for her to feel like watching a complete different person and not her old beautiful self. She wondered . Wondered why did she change so much? Why did she turn out into such a unbearable to look at face? Why did she had to gain all of those flaws and not stay her younger self which everyone loved? Those questions were countless and completely haunted her. Her whole being dedicated to those questions and sleepless nights went by her crying to herself. Pitying herself for how ugly she had become. Wishing she would wake up to a different body with a different skin but that was another of the wishes that would never become real. Like those wishes she'd write for the Saunta Clause in a tiny letter but never received. A wish you give to the star falling in the sky . A wish you blowed away the petals of a flower with. A wish you blowed the candles of your birthday with. They never will get real. Day by day her whole persona had changed. Pure hatred towards her own self. If she hated herself who wouldn't? Who wouldn't feel bad for her being such a failure in life? Oh how she wished they knew that she tried. She always tries but at the end learns the overlearned lesson,she's worthless. The chains of the society choke her every night. Their judgy stares giving her goosebumps. There it is,another whisper by the road she went by. Lips moving to the other ear and the look up-down never leaving the woman's gaze. She was devastated now by those words leaving their lips and moving in the thin air to her naked ear. She became lost into her own thoughts that everything around went silent. Anxiety filling her veins and running down her blood ,spreading across her body everywhere. Those words had left a scar on her memory that nothing would heal. She thought.Her own existence was a scar to this world. A deep cut which wouldn't heal but the other part of the sentence was muted. With tears streaming down her face,she jumped in front of truck. Her body flying accros to the other side of the street. For the final time,she felt engulfed in another pair of arms and ...warm. „Please..let me give my last breath to this world which never failed to amaze me with their impressions.."was the last words she whispered before closing her eyes forever

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This is my longest chapter lmao😭but ngl I love this one.I wrote this at 3am and listening to TV girl(I love them btw🫶🏻).it's understandable tbh cause I wrote mostly when I feel depressed 💪🏻‼️