Feels Bad Man

Enimies

The photographer explains to Feels Guy what will go down. He tells him his name, which is Gary. Feels Guy nods his head politely and asks questions when he feels the need to talk. But then, the photographer says something surprising.

"You will be working with another popular meme," he said. "Ah...his name is..." Gary checks his chart for the name. Suddenly, Feels Guy can here the sound of flopping across the hardwood floor. He turns around slowly and something green stands out in the corner of his eye. Now his head turns violently, hoping desperately its not what he thinks.

But it is. Feels Guy's heart rate goes up tremendously fast at the sight, he grinds his teeth. Green, slimy, hunched over, extremely sad looking. Dressed in a cashmere sweater and corduroy pants.  Pepe the Frog. He stares Feels Guy down and together they share a silence of hate. Both of them were burning up inside, thinking of different ways they could hurt each other. But for the sake of the photographer, all they can do is stare. And then they both know what the other is thinking.

"Ah yes! Pepe!" Gary chirped behind Feels Guy. The sound of his name makes Feels Guy shudder. Just the thought of Pepe; his name, his being, his purpose, makes Feels Guy want to vomit sour bile profusely and after that go to church.

Pepe is a evil, sickening frog who stole Feels Guy's popularity. Feels Guy is the reason there is a Pepe. He created him. And Pepe gets most of the credit now. It's disgusting. Feels Guy always tries to remember that he was the original meme but its hard to control his emotions when he's around Pepe. All he can think about is how to kill him. His skinny green ass.

Feels Guy was so into the hate stare, that he momentarily forgot where he was. He completely shut out Gary. He shakes out of it, breaking eye contact with Pepe. He looks at Gary, trying to stay calm.

"I know who this is," he said. Then he catches himself. That sounded too sassy. "We've met before."

He hears the flip flopping of Pepe's feet. Feels Guy tenses up. Suddenly, he feels Pepe's hot breath on his neck. It stinks and lights fire to Feels Guy's nerves. Then, like a bomb exploded inside of him, Feels Guy whirled around; ready to smack the shit out of Pepe. He lifted his hand lightening fast, his eyes bulged out of his head with rage.

Feels Guy lunges at Pepe and in a nanosecond, Gary wraps himself tightly around Feels Guy.

"Hey, hey, hey," Gary says in a hushed voice, his grip tightens. "Chill out now... Calm down." Feels Guy starts breathing heavily, the aftermath of the exertion taking its toll. He relaxes, resting back on his heels.

"Do you not want to do this Feels Guy?" The photographer asks.

Once Gary loosens his hold on Feels Guy, he reaches into his pocket to retrieve a bottle of pills. He twist the lid open, and pours out two white shiny pellets. It's days like this Feels Guy always carries his pills with him; they're something for his anger management. He pops them in his mouth and exhales, feeling instantly chill.

"I do," he says, glaring at his froggy opponent.