secrets // Heikazu/Kazuhei

3) Boys ❗️

🍁Kazuha's POV🍁

I walked home in the dark night, the pale moonlight illuminating me as I walked. I could see hundreds of stars glimmering in the brilliant Inazuman night sky. I smiled as I inhaled the chilly ocean breeze. They were all wonderful to me. I don't know why Heizou was so ... not suspicious of me. I thought to myself as I listened to the crickets chirp in the still night. I felt the wind ruffle though my silvery-white hair, and for once I felt.... Liked. Like I belonged somewhere. Like I wasn't just some traveling samurai who hopped from nation to nation and never stuck around. I soon saw my small little home next to the beach come into view, the soft pale moonlight shining across the still ocean waves. I sighed, feeling content with myself. I quickly creaked open the door, and stretched. I stepped into the bathroom, and turned on the shower. I could hear the droplets cascading down as I gently slipped off my clothing. I didn't know why, but after slipping my clothes off I felt my stomach flip. I decided to ignore it and stepped into the shower anyway. As I washed myself throughly, I couldn't help but touch my body slightly. I didn't understand why I was doing so- I usually never did. A quick image flashed through my mind again. It was the brunette detective. I felt my head get warm, and I reached down and stroked my small member lightly. I let out a small whimper, before clapping my hands over my mouth. My eyes were wide. What did I just do? I thought nervously. I sighed, full or embarrassment. Nobody was around but it still was so embarrassing- and it caught me off guard. Why am I doing this today? I'm not sexually active at all... ive never even had sex... Oh or even kissed anyone. I thought to myself, confused. I decided to try to forget about it. I stepped out of the shower, drying my legs and my arms quickly. I gazed back into to mirror, my face flushed a slight red. I sighed. What has gotten into me... I thought, slightly worried. I gazed out my window once more, seeing the stars shimmer in the night sky. I slipped on a light kimono, and lay down in my bed, leaving the windows open slightly to feel the breeze. For some reason, I couldn't fall asleep. My mind kept thinking back to Heizou. The things he said, the way he looked, the way he talked. I couldn't stop thinking about him. It was confusing. Maybe I'm just grateful for his praise... I thought, trying to figure it out. I then heard a knock on my bedroom door. I quickly got up and opened it. It was my adoptive mother, Beidou. "KAZUHA! My boy! I'm home!" She exclaimed. I smiled, my eyes shining bright. "Welcome back mother." I whispered softly. Beidou smiled at me, her hand on her hip. "I noticed you had a fancy kimono and blade lying around- did you go somewhere special?" Beidou asked me, tilting her head curiously. I blushed a bit, my hand on my shoulder. "Uh- yeah... heh.." I whispered. Beidou's face lit up. "I'm so proud of you! Where did you go?" She asked again. I smiled softly. "Yoimiya introduced me to her friends..." I admitted, smiling. Beidou looked sort of surprised and happy at the same time. "You mean.. you made friends? Are you sure they weren't there to arrest you? I heard the Tenryo commission still looks for the fugitives even after the decree...." She said sternly. It's not a big deal mom." I whispered. Beidou put her hand on my shoulder. "Hey. Good work. But, if they lay one finger on you, I'm comin' after them." Beidou whispered sternly. I giggled. "It will be fine mom, please. They're nice." I reassured her, Beidou nodded. At least... Im pretty sure he won't arrest me... I thought to myself. "Alright. I trust you." She replied. I smiled again. Beidou was always a kind mother to me. Ever since she took me in to the Crux when I was thirteen, running away from danger in Inazuma, she had vowed to protect me with her life. I know I wouldn't have survived this long without her. I quickly wrapped my arms around my mom, hugging her tightly. She did her signature Beidou hug, squeezing me tightly and lovingly. "Ah that's enough mom!" I laughed. She put me down gently. "Hey. I'm glad you had a good time. Makes me happy to see you like this." She admitted. I couldn't help but smile. "Me too mom..." I whispered back.

We sat on the bed together, staring into the night sky put the window for a few more moments. Beidou then turned to me, a curious look in her eyes. "So, what were they like?" She asked. I blushed nervously. "Oh- just nice haha-" I replied. Beidou laughed. "Cmon' Kazu, a bit more. Give me some details." I giggled, blushing a little. "Alright." I replied. I mean I can't tell her Heizou is the lead detective of the Tenryo Commission... she'd lose her mind. I thought nervously to myself.

"There's this girl named Ayaka- of the Kamisato Clan? She was really kind with words, and very gentle." I said to Beidou. Her eyes went wide. "I know her! I can't believe you met Miss Kamisato- she's hell of an important figure in Inazuma. Glad to know she was kind." Beidou replied, smiling at me. I smiled back. "And uh... a girl with green hair and a mask, Kuki Shinobu of the Arataki Gang- she was pretty calm and quiet, but kind nonetheless." I added. Beidou looked very pleased. "Good to know that the Arataki Gang isn't all weirdos." She laughed. I giggled too. "And... um.. there was this boy..." I whispered softly, blushing slightly. Beidou tilted her beard curiously. "And?" She asked, seeming to look sort of confused. I can't tell her where he's from. I hesitated for a moment. "He uh... he had brunette hair- a tank top, anemo vision... and uh he was pretty fit.. and.." Beidou stared at me very curiously now. "Kaz, why are you so nervous all of a sudden? Did he do something bad to you?" She asked, seeming concerned. My face flushed red . "No! Of course not. He was really nice... a little too nice..." I whispered softly to Beidou. Beidou hesitated for a moment, then her eyes sparkled. She smirked slightly. "Ohhh- so it's that kind of nervous... hmm..." she said slyly. My face flushed red again. "No no it's not mom please-" I stammered. Beidou laughed. "Don't worry bud. I know how you're feeling. But, you could've just told me you liked guys. You know I wouldn't mind." She said to me. My eyes went wide with shock. What? I don't- I don't even know what I like... Or... I thought to myself nervously. Besides I don't like him right? I thought, trying to reassure myself. I then thought again about Heizou. His stunning emerald eyes, his sly smirk, his charming personality, and his fit body. I couldn't help but blush red, feeling my pants get tighter. I then opened my eyes, realizing what had happened. Beidou was staring at me, facepalming. Am I really getting... this way for a guy who could tie me up in chains? I thought nervously. "Oh Kazuha- you zoned out. You're really into that boy, aren't you." She said to me. I flushed red again. "No! I'm not! I- I mean... I don't know..." I stammered nervously. Maybe I ... do think he's quite attractive I guess... I thought, starting to realize what was going on. It's okay. I won't ask you about it. I get that you're figuring yourself out." She replied. I smiled softly. "Thanks mom..." I whispered. Beidou smiled back, her hand on my shoulder. "I was about your age when I figured out my sexuality. Again, we don't know what you are yet, so I won't assume, but I get what it's like to not understand your feelings. I remember meeting Ning when I was younger, getting those feelings I didn't understand. Later, now, I know I'm a lesbian, and me and Ningguang are together. It's all going to work out. You may be gay, straight, bi, or neither. You just have to explore." She added, smiling at me. Beidou was an amazing mom. "Thank you mom..." I whispered. I then thought again of Heizou. Then it hit me. Maybe I really was attracted to him. Am i gay? I thought to myself. Girls had never really made me feel the way he did... I had never touched myself since before then... what has gotten into me... I thought, coming to the realization. Maybe I was gay. I couldn't help but to hide my face. This... I don't know how to feel... I thought, overwhelmed in emotion. Beidou tilted her head at me, with a pitying glance. "Kaz?" She asked, seeming concerned. I didn't look at her. "Oh... mom.... I think... I think I'm gay..." I barely choked out, crying softly. Beidou just stared at me for a few moments, before pulling me into her for a hug, rubbing my back gently. "Shh... it's alright. It's always emotional when you figure yourself out..." she whispered to reassure me. I smiled through my slight tears. "Thank you mom... thank you..." I whispered between small tears. Beidou continued to hug me, whispering kind words and caring thoughts.
I can't believe I'm only just realizing this... I thought, my emotions feeling strong. As a younger boy, I remember sneaking off to see warriors and samurais, all male, to practice with their blades. I remember when they took their shirts off it had made me feel something really different. I remember feeling my stomach flip, feeling flustered. I had just assumed it was me being uncomfortable with it due to being younger... but I now didn't think that was the case. I remember feeling self conscious when I was around other boys, feeling like I could take my eyes off them for a minute. Again, I had just assumed it was because I was jealous that they looked more fit and tough than I did. I couldn't believe I just only realized that. I'm gay. I like boys. I thought, still sort of stunned. But did that mean... I liked Heizou? He... he made me feel things I never had before... sexually and emotionally... maybe I really I do like him... I thought to myself. I decided to lay in bed, and I slowly drifted off to sleep.