When the Shell Breaks

Chapter One

The sound of chalk against a blackboard makes me feel sick. Usually I wouldn't mind the sound, in fact, if I could hear that sound for the rest of my life I would. But it wasn't the sound that made me feel sick, it was the idea of school almost coming to an end. Though summer was always a great way for me to get more studying in and have time to volunteer at the library, I knew that this summer would be one to dread. This summer I had to decide which parent I would be staying with until I graduated highschool. My parents had been fighting all year about who I would live with, my mother even made a pros and cons list – naturally she had given herself all the pros and none of the cons. I didn't know whether to feel special or not that my parents were fighting over me like some kind of valuable object. I try to let myself focus on the sound of chalk screeching against the blackboard and wait for the beautiful sound of a bell ringing.

Once A week, I have a thirty minute session with my guidance counselor, Ms. Wang. At this point, she might as well know me better than both of my parents. I sit down in the chair and fidget with the stress balls on her desk while I wait for her to come out. Her desk is full of things that look too valuable to touch like the ceramic jellyfish she bought on her trip to the Maldives. By the time Ms. Wang enters her office, I have my mother's whole pros and cons list memorized. My mother's pros were that she could cook and was more successful in the business industry. The cons for my father were far too much for me to memorize in my head.

Ms. Wang sits down in her chair and folds her fingers in front of her. She was aware of my "Situation" but never bothered to bring it up. But now that school is almost over and I had to make a decision soon about who I was going to live with, she had no choice but to bring it up.

"So," She begins. "You're gonna be a senior next year. Exciting!" I can tell by the look on Ms. Wang's face that she knows this conversation has to start somewhere so she quits the small talk.

"Dakota, I'm aware that you have to make a very important choice by the end of the summer, have you given any thought about that?"

Usually thoughts came quicker than I could write them down but now my mind was blank.

"Well my parents haven't been making it easy to choose." I finally say. Ms. Wang gives me a look that indicates that she wants me to continue. "My dad has been giving me more gifts than usual – actually I don't think he's ever bothered to until now – and my mother has become this psycho, control freak."

Ms. Wang nods, "In that case it's a good thing that your mother scheduled a meeting with both her and your father today."

I pause. My mom had done what? I lean back in the chair. I would never wish for war but right now it would feel rather good if a nuclear bomb got dropped on me. Before I can object or tell her to cancel the meeting a knocking sound starts up at the door. By the repeated and obnoxious knocks and can tell the person is my mother. Ms. Wang opens the door and the sound of heels against a wood floor and rustling car keys enter the room. Today she's wearing red lipstick instead of her usual pink. She probably wants to make a good impression on Ms. Wang as if she's some kind of judge who's gonna decide who I live with. She sits down in the chair next to mine, her Kate spade purse on top of her lap.

Ms. Wang smiles, "So you must be Dakota's mom Ms. Lee." My mom lets out a fake smile and a giggle, "Oh you can just call me Helen."

Ms. Wang smiles, "So is Mr. Collins coming?"

I slouch lower down into my seat praying my mother – Helen won't go on another rant about how my dad is unorganized and prepared. It was always the same Oh Dakota's father is always late, also, did you know that I wanted to give Dakota a Korean name but her father wouldn't let me? Naturally all of this was said.