When the Shell Breaks

Chapter Two

Irresponsible was the fourth con for my father on Helen's pros and cons list. Many categories for irresponsible could fit under the basic description of my dad. He would always blame traffic for the reason he was late to pick me up from clubs when in reality he had just forgotten. And he would always forget to take the leftovers out of the freezer when my mom was at work and didn't have time to. I've been trying to memorize my mothers whole list ever since she made it a couple of days.

I recite the list in my head as I stand in the vegetable aisle of the grocery store, waiting for my dad to come back from the drink aisle. There's one more con under the irresponsible category for my dad. It just won't come to me. After a while reciting the list becomes boring so I take out my phone and stare down at the weather app to make it look like I'm doing something as I wait. As I'm in the middle of looking at the ten day forecast in Guatemala, a notification from Kira appears. I click the notification which leads to our text messages, her newest one that reads,

Party at Lola's tonight, wanna go?

In eagerness to reply just so that I can actually be doing something reasonable while I wait, I write

I'll think about it, my mom wants me to pack for Maine.

I know Kira will be slightly disappointed even though she could probably predict that that would be my answer. Before she can reply I send a gif of Katy Perry on the beach that says "California girls" beneath it. My Dad waddles up to the vegetable aisle holding two sacks of beer. That's what I was forgetting to add under the irresponsible section of my moms pros and cons list, my dad is never healthy.

"Finally found what I was looking for," He says, placing both beer sacks in the cart. "Thanks for watching the cart."

I give him a little nod looking down at my phone to see a message from Kira that says 

You're no fun.

Shoving my phone in my pocket, a sense of anger flows through my body. Kira wasn't wrong, almost my entire highschool life was just studying and self doubt. Not even my summers were spent enjoying myself. I wait for my dad to turn around while he throws a bag of marshmallows into the cart.

"Dad," I finally say. "Can I go to a party?"

***

Growing up I spent most of my time with my mom which is why I guess I spend most of my time striving for success today. When I was little I would accompany my mom at work. I would help her staple papers or simply just observe. I would listen to how she would answer the phone and how she would say "Buh Bye" when she hung up. I was all seriousness and success like my mom. I had never realized how much her ways influenced my life until now when I stood in front of a mirror wearing a cropped tank top and a miniskirt. Kira puts her hands on my shoulders and smiles.

"This is your first ever party!"

"No it's not." I tell her. But Kira was right. This was my first ever real party. I had only ever attended birthday parties when it was still normal to give stuffed animals and board games as gifts. Kira walks to her bed and begins to fill her purse with pads and makeup.

"You can keep the clothes," She says from the other side of the room. "I never wear them anyway."

Kira must have been high if she actually thought I would want to keep and wear her bright orange cropped tank and her white ruffle miniskirt.