Fall from Grace

Harry's Decision

Chapter 10

Harry's Decision

The Hogsmeade Trip was scheduled for the week after Halloween. When Harry and Riddle returned to the common room, all of Slytherin seemed to be there to celebrate Harry's birthday. There was food, music, dancing, and a cake twice the size of Harry. Everyone called him the Samhain Child but Harry couldn't bring himself to correct them. Despair's words rang through him, but also did Riddle's. And the fact that Harry wanted his touch again.

Not even two full months ago Harry wanted to kill him. He wanted to end it all with Riddle but now he was aching for his touch, reaching out for him as if Riddle would ever return any affection. What is wrong with me? He felt confused and conflicted. He wanted the touch but he couldn't push past the awkward fact that it was Tom Riddle giving it to him. Riddle, who years later will kill his parents. Who probably have already killed knowing how insane the boy turned out to be. He hasn't seen Moaning Myrtle around, either as a ghost or person. Did Riddle kill her already? Harry didn't know.

Does it matter? She was always rather annoying.

Yes it does! Harry hated these thoughts and did his best to push these thoughts as he focused on more positive things, such as his visit with the Voice of the Dark. Professor Slughorn made it so that Harry was able to visit Hogsmeade without parental permission, citing the "special circumstances" that brought Harry to Hogwarts as reason enough. So, on the sunny morning of the trip, Harry woke up excited and got ready quickly, doing his best not to pay Riddle any attention elsewise he would have those horrible thoughts again. He couldn't last five minutes with Riddle without thinking of Samhain and their touches and Riddle's words.

"You are already mine, Peverell."

Those words spiraled in Harry's head as he considered every meaning and every single way one can take those words. Harry was his, but his what? His boy as he called the others? His minion? Something more? A small part of him wished for the last part and he hated it.

Xavier was in the common room waiting for Harry. They agreed to go together after breakfast. "The Voice should be Hogsmeade," he told Harry. "I've gotten a letter from him last night, he is staying at the inn there, The Three Broomsticks. I'll introduce the two of you but then I have to step out if that's okay?"

"Yeah," Harry agreed. "And thank you, Xavier, for everything."

Xavier gave Harry a smile that made him blush. He looked around to see that they were alone and he breathed, "Of course Harry, I would do anything for you." Harry's blush deepened and he adverted his eyes. Xavier took him by the chin and swallowed. "I hope I'm reading into this right," he said, sounding vulnerable, "but I just want you to know that you're not alone. In that way..."

Harry's breath hitched and he unconsciously licked his lips, Xavier's eyes following his tongue's movement. "Thank you," Harry breathed. Xavier smiled and the two boys stood there, close to each other as Xavier held Harry gently, caressing his chin and cheek with his hand. Why can't it be you? Harry found himself thinking sadly. They heard sounds and immediately separated, Harry turning his back to control his blush while Xavier just cleared his throat.

"Harry, Xavier, you two are up early," Sylvain's voice drifted over them. "Since when were you two early risers?"

"Harry has an appointment with the Voice of the Dark, I'm going to escort him. That's all," Xavier said casually. Sylvain hummed and turned to Harry, smiling widely.

"You're going to love him," he said. "The Voice is very kind and very wise. What are you two going to talk about?"

"I just want to know more about it all," Harry said in a soft voice, hoping that his blush was fully gone. Sylvain nodded, taking the answer for what it is, and moved on, turning to Xavier and talking about the other shops that they should visit while Harry was talking with the Voice. Soon enough, the other boys made their way down and as one group, they all went up to the Great Hall for breakfast.