Mitsukou Oneshots🫶

We're so not gay (satire-ish??)

(Kinda satire??? Them being weird is the satire part ig)

3rd POV

"So..." Hanako and Yashiro glanced at each other. Currently they were hanging out in Hanako's bathroom. Kou and Mitsuba were standing pretty close to each other, slightly leaning in and smiling at each other in a flirty and loving way. Kou was slightly leaning onto the wall as they talked about something random. Yashiro and Hanako watched them awkwardly as they giggled. "this is weird..." Hanako whispered to Yashiro, Yashiro nodded, watching the two. "Do you think something happened last weekend?" Yashiro perked up and glanced at Hanako confused, not really knowing what he was implying.

"like... what?" Yashiro asked, Hanako smirked and raised his eyebrows at Yashiro. Yashiro giggled and pushed Hanako away, "ewww!!" Hanako and Yashiro giggled, and then looked back at the two love birds. Now Kou was talking, but looking down at Mitsuba's lips, and Mitsuba was blushing while listening to Kou carefully. Hanako's eye twitched as he watched the two, getting jealous. "...hold my cards" Hanako passed Yashiro his cards and floated over to the two. Yashiro watched and grabbed her imaginary popcorn. "ALRIGHT!!! Me and my assistant have had enough! You can be gay but just tell us if your dating or not?!"

Kou and Mitsuba looked at Hanako and both turned red. Kou nervously laughed and wrapped his arm around Mitsuba, "w-what are you talking about? Me and Mitsuba are just bros... homies..." Kou said, Hanako rolled his eyes, "then why are you being so flirty?! Even I'm not that needy for some-" Yashiro covered Hanako's mouth and smiled in embarrassment, "shut up..!" Yashiro whispered to Hanako, "we're not gay!!" Mitsuba said and he leaned into Kou. Hanako and Yashiro looked at each other and mentally slapped themselves. "Wait wait wait- let me guess: do you kiss each other goodnight?" Hanako asked, Mitsuba looked down to hide his smile

"Uhhh yeah, but it's just kissing the homies goodnight, it's not gay, uh... we had our socks on!!" Mitsuba looked at Kou and sighed. Kou looked back at Mitsuba and they just stared at each other. "um... well you do have pretty eyes" Kou said to Mitsuba, and softly put his hand on Mitsuba's cheek. Yashiro and Hanako looked at each other in shock and concern, "AR ETHEY PRANKING US???? WHY ARE THEY BEING WEIRD?????" Yashiro loudly whispered to Hanako, Hanako shrugged as a Mokke passed Hanako popcorn.

Mitsuba blushed and put his hand on Kou's hand, "Your not that ugly... from up close" Mitsuba said and looked down at Kou's lips, Kou did the same. Yashiro and Hanako started eating the popcorn faster, watching as they slowly leaned in. "You... are really pretty" Kou said before they kissed. Hanako choked on a popcorn and shut his mouth, dying silently. Kou put his free hand around Mitsuba's waist and pulled him closely. Yashiro and Hanako stopped eating the popcorn, hearing loud footstpes coming closer. They both gasped and ran toward the door, where a scared Teru and a surprised Akane were.

"Let us in!! Kou's in there, isn't he?!" Teru said quite loudly, Yashiro and Hanako looked behind and saw them passionately making out. They both slowly turned back, "umm, not an option right now..." Hanako said. Teru groaned, "you don't understand! Last weekend, me, Kou, and Mitsuba we're walking at the park, when a ghost suddenly attacked the two. The ghost quickly ran off before I could do anything, but it made them act weird, and they ran off holding hands. So... I did research and found out that ghost made them in love!! It only lasts a few days, but if they kiss for too long then they'll turn back to normal, but remember everything! So- let me get in there!!!" Teru explained, and then tired to push the two out of the way

"No!! You'll get traumatized!" Hanako yelled, then the two yelped as Akane pushed Yashiro out of the way, making Yashiro fall on top of Hanako. Teru and Akane quickly went in, but Akane choked on air when he saw the two making out. Teru stared in shock, but quickly looked away. "Ewww!!" Akane said in between coughs. Yashiro jumped off of Hanako, and helped him up. Suddenly the room filled with pink smoke, but went away after a few seconds. Everyone looked at Kou and Mitsuba, who were on the floor looking around confused, "what-... what happened?" Kou said out loud, Mitsuba looked at Kou and gasped, his face turning red. Teru ran over and put his hands over Kou's eyes before he could look at Mitsuba, "what- Teru?! What's going on?!" Kou asked as Mitsuba backed away and stood up, covering his mouth

Mitsuba's face was beet red, looking down at the ground. "I can't let you remember it!! It's too embarrassing!" Teru said and Kou pushed Teru off of him and immediately looked at Mitsuba. Kou also gasped and turned red, "I- Wha- WHY?!!" Kou yelled and stood up. "I-I'm so sorry Mitsuba!!" Mitsuba simply looked up at Kou and jumped into the mirror, disappearing. Kou tried to get in, but just bonked his head, "oww..." Kou yelped when Yashiro touched his shoulder, "you saw everything?" Kou asked, Yashiro nodded and Kou buried his face into his hands. Hanako smirked and floated over

"Well... now me and Yashiro will forever have blackmail on you! You wanna know the detailsss?~ you two were-" Kou suddenly pushed Hanako away and ran out of the bathroom, screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Kou screamed as he ran down the hall and down the stairs. Teru and Akane said their goodbyes and ran after Kou.

"What the heck just happened..." Yashiro said, sitting down and putting her hand on her head, "well... that would be a funny story for someone to write in their oneshot book" Yashiro perked up and looked at Hanako confused, "what...?" Hanako smiled and floated over, hugging Yashiro from the side, "nothinggg~"

999 words

(Kinda short but I thought it would be funny, this was supposed to be satire but🤷‍♂️)