The Alliance

Chapter 19

I could still feel the anxiety from days ago creep on me when I was alone. It didn't help that I was always alone. 

I got ready for bed after a long shower and an even longer night routine which mostly consisted of braiding my hair into pigtails- that I could never seem to get right, one was always either bigger than the other or the line parting them wasn't straight. It undoubtedly frustrated the living daylights out of me.

I opened the covers before slipping in and laying on my side- my back facing the door and my legs curled around each other and my sock-clad feet creating friction as they rubbed against one another.

My eyes burning with exhaustion but my mind wide awake and chanting my sister's words over and over.

'I swear sometimes you're almost as bad as mom.'

Was I really that much? 

Did I hurt my siblings even more by having the best of intentions for them?

God, was I like one of those parents, the ones that would inflict pain on their kids because they 'loved' them?

Maybe I should stop caring. If I didn't care everything would be so much easier.

I rubbed my wet palms on my pajama pants. Closing my eyes in an attempt to force my brain to shut down. I didn't want to have another sleepless night where I stared blankly at the ceiling above me.

I wanted to dream. It's been so long since I'd done that.

The wailing sound and red flashing lights of the alarms being tripped shot me out of bed. I spared a quick glimpse at my alarm clock sitting on the nightstand, the bright red digits reading 02: 37. I slipped the drawer open, retrieving my gun just in case and quietly leaving my bedroom. 

The sound of heavy footsteps downstairs told me that someone was indeed inside and I carefully walked down the hallway my heart racing, and my hands holding my armed gun at the ready my exhaustion left my body as adrenaline replaced it. The only thing seemed to make life worth living on most days was the danger that came with it.

If trouble didn't come knocking at your door- you could always make it. 

I paused when I got to the room I knew as Imaan's, oddly enough the door was still shut and I couldn't shake off the urge to open it. 

I exhaled a heavy breath of irritation, one hand reaching for the door handle and gently pushing it open. The room was pitch black, save for the flashing red, and empty. I huffed. Turning and preparing to leave when I heard a distant sniffle.

I quickly walked towards the bathroom switching the light on but coming up short before moving towards the cramped closet where I found Imaan with her legs tucked into her frame and her hands around her head.

Curled into herself like a child afraid of the dark.

I rushed towards her, the sound of the gun hitting the floor startling her as she raises her head. Hazel eyes glossy and tanned skin stained with tears. She's having a panic attack. "Hey, hey, hey." I coax when she tries getting up with great struggle. Her chest rapidly rising and falling and her hands shaking. Kneeling down I place my hand on her arm before retracting it when she flinches away.

Not knowing what else to do- because comforting others is not my forte- I stand up but her hand in mine pulls me back. "I'll be back, I'm just going to barricade the door." I speak softly, knowing that the last thing she needs to be right now is alone, but it'd put me at ease to know that we were at least safe. 

She reluctantly lets me go and I do my best to hurry when it comes to pushing the heavy dresser in front of the door returning to my spot beside her crouching and opening my arms for her in case she's ready. She is.

And her dark hair tickles my chin as she wraps her arms around my waist tightly. As if I'm anchoring her. I gently rake my fingers through her strands that smell like cocoa butter. "It's alright I've got you." I follow my instincts as I whisper words of comfort to her. Words I wish someone would say to me every once in a while.

Because God do I need to hear them. 

It's easy when you're always thinking about everyone else. Until you're left with the broken pieces of yourself no one has bothered to fix. That no one even notices until they're getting cut.

Here in this loud but oddly silent room it felt safe, and that foreign feeling granted my tears permission to fall.

We'd stayed there for what felt like minutes but what was most likely over an hour or so when someone began pushing against the door of the room. I carefully got up. "I'm not leaving, okay?" I told Imaan, who'd calmed down immensely once the wailing of the alarms had settled but the flashing lights still seemed to make her jumpy. "I'm going to protect you."

I picked the gun up from where I'd dropped it, shutting the door to the bathroom before closing Imaan and I in the closet. If only we were in the primary bedroom. The bedroom had a wall of artillery and a hidden safe room now I'd have to make do with one eight bullet pistol and a cramped wardrobe.

"How did we get here?" I looked at her at the sound of her raspy from crying voice, catching her now dry eyes and trailing my own across her bare face.

"Well, it all started when you wanted to marry me." I joked not being able to find it in me to feel embarrassed despite knowing I looked just as big of a mess as she did. My own throat dry and in dire need of substance.

"Funny how I don't recall that." Imaan played along. "I must've been either drunk or high."

"I don't know, you seemed moderately functional to me." I looked down when she tucked my hair behind my warm ear before looking up only to catch her intense gaze.

Maybe it's the moment of vulnerability we'd just shared, or maybe it's simply being in a dark space where nobody would be able to see what we do- we could get away with murder in this small closet.

But we're oblivious to the chaos ensuing around us as we seemed to lean in mutually. "Moderately functional me knew what she was doing then." She whispered into the inch of space between us.

I chuckled softly. My eyes fluttering closed and my lips ready for hers when the door to the closet flies open. 

Only to reveal the odd, unexpected sight of Ebrahim and Ayzal in their sleepwear with a whole armed suicide squad behind them.

What the fuck?