HERSHE || BBANGSAZ ||

35. Admire

Monday – February 12th.

The office doesn't look the same now knowing that Minji isn't there. Hanni did her usual routine and it was hella boring the entire day.

On the other hand, people couldn't be more excited for the coming Valentine's Day. They have decorated their office with cupids and hearts all over the place. Some colleagues are already struggling in finding a gift for their special someone. Hyein even told Hanni that she'll prepare gifts for Niki and Minji.

Hanni didn't mind, she knows how Minji feels about Hyein.

There are times she's looking at the graphics department's direction, maybe hoping that a certain person would walk out and smile at her.

Her eyes shifted to the wall clock and saw it's already 5:01 pm.

Just two more days.

—

When Hanni got home, she saw her mom in the kitchen.

"Hi, mom. It's a surprise that you're early today." Hanni gave her mom a quick cheek kiss.

"We called it a day since the client dismissed our meeting early," said the older woman, glancing over Hanni quickly and going back to chopping the vegetables.

Hanni dropped her bag on the table and walked to the fridge to get some cold water. "Oh. That's good. Do you want to go shopping or something? Maybe unwind a little?"

"I don't think unwinding is a good idea now. We'll just get stuck in the pre-Valentine's Day traffic."

"I just thought you could, you know, relax for a bit. You're always busy with your work. Maybe we could eat dinner outside?"

"Let's do that next time. I'm already preparing our dinner."

Hanni leaned over the kitchen table and stared at her mom's back while swirling the glass in her hand.

Since her dad passed away, her mom had busied herself on work. Their loss was hard for both of them but Hanni knew it was harder for her mom. They even had to move out of their previous house because her mom wasn't recovering at all.

Despite the business and the grieving, her mom never failed to be a mother to Hanni. She grew up having a mom and a best friend. But there are times she wonders if her mom is happy.

"Mom?"

"Hmm?"

"Don't you ever want to have a boyfriend again?"

Her mom stopped chopping. "What kind of question is that?"

"I'm just curious." Hanni shrugged. "I won't mind, just so you know. I just want you to be happy again."

Her mom put down the knife and turned to her with a wry smile. "Why, are you getting married and planning to leave me soon?"

"Nope. I just want you to have a boyfriend. That's all. Period."

"And why do you want me to have a boyfriend suddenly? Do you have one already?"

"Ugh. We're talking about you here, mom." Hanni rolled her eyes, afraid that this conversation may lead to prying more about her love life. "And I'm still single, okay?"

The older woman folded her arms and stared at her daughter with skeptical eyes.

"What?" asked Hanni.

"You may not say it but I've been noticing something different with you lately."

"Noticing what?"

"Just slight changes: frequent humming, eagerness to go to the office, constantly looking at your phone, plus your mood has been oddly light lately." The older woman tapped a finger on her chin. "Is my daughter, by any chance, finally in love?"

Hanni felt uneasy with the question. She had to look away. "I told you, I'm single."

"I know. But being single doesn't mean you're not in love with someone, right?"

"I'm not, mom, okay? Don't worry. You'll be the first person to know about it just in case I fall in love soon," said Hann turning away to put the glass down.

"If you say so. I'm just here anytime you're ready to tell me about it."

Her mom turned back to the veggies. Hanni took it as an opportunity to escape to her room.

—

Once in her room, Hanni lied on the bed and massaged her temples.

She was fidgeting the entire conversation because the only person who popped into her head when her mom threw that million-dollar question was Minji.

"Shit. This can't be."

There's no use in denying it anymore. At some point, somehow, yes, she's attracted to Minji, but she isn't sure if it's love or not. She never had liked someone so bad before so there's no point of comparison. Plus, she's still seeing her feelings for Minji as momentary admiration, considering Minji has the same effect on most of the women.

Hanni pulled out her wallet and chuckled at the sight of their picture from the horror house. It was when she realized how much she's missing Minji now. It's only been two days since she last saw her but it feels like they haven't talked in ages.

She ran a finger across the picture.

"Forgive me for being dense about this because this is all new to me. But if you were to judge what I'm feeling now, what would you say?"

Hanni dropped her hands to her side and closed her eyes after another loud sigh.

"Tell me, Minji, am I already in love with you?"