Cursed and Lonely: The Stop

Chapter 7: Note

The forest was dark, the trees were huge. There was no sound, even though he was used to the silence. The forest gave him the creeps. He had gone through multiple forests throughout his journey but none of them scared him. The forest had a certain mood, a mood of doom. It felt like there was something there. It was waiting for him to enter.

All that was waiting for him was an inevitable doom. It could be everything that awaited him there. It could be that there was something. He wanted to run away from the forest but it felt like the forest was calling him. There was a pressure coming from the forest, this forest should be avoided and yet he entered it.

His legs hurt too much so he just hobbled forward. He had been walking for way too long for way too far that he did not realize that he had burnt out the muscles in his legs. He couldn't see any animals in the forest, he could not see any plants in the forest. He could only see the gigantic trees. He did not like this.

In every forest he had been he could at least see some animals and plants, he was familiar with them. Not seeing them made him uneasy. Everywhere he looked there were trees. He did not know what type of tree they were, he had forgotten everything. There was no movement. There was no sound. There was nothing of interest in the forest, he did not know why he entered it but he could not turn back. He did not know his way anyway.

He strolled for an uncertain amount of time without finding anything. The forest was dark, it wasn't as dark as the night but it was darker than the shadows on the street. He had never seen this much darkness before and yet he could see everything clearly. There was no reason for him to see anything.

He was scared, it felt like anything could jump him at any given moment. He sprung up, there was something that scared him. Out of the corner of his eye he had seen something move. He was certain that he didn't imagine it, He was certain that he saw something move. He looked around waiting to see that movement again. He saw it again. It was like time started moving again but there was still no sound and neither was there any movement except for what he just had seen.

He slowly approached the place where he saw the movement. He was scared, he hadn't seen any movement in what seemed like months, it could have been years too. He was surprised, behind a big tree he saw a young girl. Her body was hanging on a rope that was attached to the tree branch above her and her neck.

She did not move. She was neither dead or alive but he did not know that. His stomach turned around and he started to vomit. During this somewhere in his memory he could see a body on the street covered with blood. It was a vague memory and he did not know who the one on the street was. He knew he had seen her before but he could not tell that it was Hannah.

After a while the vomiting stopped and he regained his posture. He started to look around. There was not a lot around. There was a chair that she probably used to stand on in order to get her head through the noose. His eye fell on a notebook. It probably belonged to her. He picked it up and opened it. It was a dairy about her journey. The last page read this:

"This is the last thing that I will and can write. I have no idea if anyone is ever going to find this or if anyone will ever care to read this. I don't know how long ago it was. It could have been 3 years or even 5. But suddenly time had stopped. There was no sound and neither was there any movement. I was the only one that was able to move in this world now. I felt powerful I did whatever I wanted. But then the voices came. The voices in my head telling me to kill people. I listened to those voices, it felt like I had no choice. I killed everyone I saw, I killed those who I loved and I killed those who I hated. The voices led me to this forest. They kept telling me to go in this forest. I was lost. There were moving shadows. They were all hanging. There are more. I was not alone. This forest is cursed, no one can escape. The voices consumed me. I could not control it. I had forgotten my name. I had forgotten my family. I killed them. I can never forget how I enjoyed it. The blood that I licked from my hands, how I enjoyed the taste. I will never forget that. Killing was the only thing I did. I made different artworks with the corpses. They were beautiful. I have no regrets of what I did to other people, but at the same time I regret it all. I feel so weird. I did not deserve this freedom. The voices are forcing me to do this. Even though I am unable to die. The voices are unstoppable they keep saying: "This rotten world deserved every bad thing that happened to it. Kill them. This world needs to be purged. Kill them. Humans are pests, all of them need to die. Kill them. They deserve nothing. Kill them. They deserve torture. Kill them. This planet is so much more beautiful without them. Kill them. This planet would have been so beautiful without those beasts. Kill them." It scares me. Help me."

He felt unwell. She resembled him. He started remembering everything again. He remembered who he was again. He remembered what he did. He felt regret. He wanted to die. He needed to die. This forest was perfect, it was fate.

He could not understand everything that was said in the notebook. What did she mean with "Even though I am unable to die". He could not understand it. But he didn't pay any mind to it anymore. He would end it all right here and now. This forest was his saviour. This forest would save him from his pain. He would be able to find salvation. He would be able to find peace up.

The rope she had made was perfect. She was the one saving him. She is the one who brought him back to his senses. The one who made sure he could end it all. He thanked her but there was no reply.

He felt relieved. His suffering was close to an end, he did not need to hear those voices anymore. He did not need to regret killing Hannah anymore. He did not need to regret leaving his city anymore. He did not need to regret stealing anymore. This time he could think about himself, he could be selfish.

There was no one who could stop him. No one could stand in his way. He gripped the young girl and threw he to the side, he did not care for her, she was already dead. He was the only important one now. The only one that could move. He took the chair and placed it below the rope. He stepped on it and put his head through the noose.

He saw his life flash before his eyes. He saw his mom and dad. He remembered the good moments. He saw his mom smiling, he saw his dad smiling. He thought that his dad had never smiled before. Had he been wrong about him this whole time? He remembered the time he played football with him. He remembered falling down, he remembered his dad rushing to him being really concerned. He started to feel uneasy. He had long forgotten that memory. He thought he would never see that again. He thought his dad had never cared for him.

He remembered the time he went to the zoo with his parents. He was impressed by the monkeys, the birds and the fish. He saw his dad smile again. He saw his mom smile again. He remembered saying that the monkey looked like his uncle. His dad and mom had laughed. He could only remember their laughs.

He still remembered them. He thought he had forgotten. He wished he had forgotten. It wouldn't have been this hard. Tears started rolling down his cheeks. His nose started running. He couldn't do this. It was too hard, he loved them too much.

He started seeing his old friends in front of him. They were having fun while playing games. His mom gave them snacks, she was happy. She smiled. He saw his dad grinning. Did he always grin like that? Did I never notice that? Did I never notice how much he loved me? He regretted leaving the city. He regretted walking all the way to this place. He regretted walking into this forest.

There was nothing of value here. He should have stayed at his own place. He should have went back to sleep. He should have not been able to move in this stopped time. He should have been able to turn his life around and make himself happy. He should have been able to regain his strength.

He hated himself. There was nothing he could do about it now. He could only move one. He still had so much to do. He could still do so much in life. He was still so young. There were many books he could still read. There were many things he could still finish. He could even find someone who would marry him. He could even have kids.

He hated himself for never trying to do anything. He could have led such a happy life. If he just had realized it sooner. He wished he had realized sooner that he was the one who pushed the people away from him. He could not let it end here. He should keep going.

He tried to step of the chair but kicked it away instead. It was sudden. He felt how his body fell down. He panicked and struggled. His feet went everywhere, his hands were gripping the rope. He screamed and cried but there was no sound. Everything started to fade. He tried to get out of the noose. His strength started to fade away. He couldn't feel anything anymore. He kept struggling until everything went black.