cigarettes after sex . sandray .

- cigarettes after sex -

"even when you lose all hope knowing you have no chance and you have given up, that 1% keeps you going . . . You were my 1%"

- ray -

"I'm sorry ray . . . I knew you had feelings yet I didn't say anything" there was a brief silence in the air before mew spoke again "i- I don't like you that way ray, I have someone I love already . . . But that doesn't mean we can't be friends anymore, we still can be friends ray ..... That is if your ok with being friends with me" mew let out harsh words but softly, he knew ray had a soft heart and there is no way he could hurt such heart. He was worried that this would ruin there friendship and mew didn't want anything like that to happen, after all ray was his best support he, fought back with there own friend Boston because he went around trying to steal, use and throw top.

Ray was looking down the whole time mew was talking, he couldn't bare to look mew's face, knowing that if he did he would probably cry any time. He shook his head looking at the ground a small smile painted his lips eyes ready to pour out, ray finnally looked back up at the man Infront. All of mew's face features clearly could be seen, the doubt, the confusion, the worried look of lossing something, and it hurt him to, he knew his friend was in love with someone else, yet he kept going thinking he would have even the slightest of chance. But that was lie to himself, like running away from the reality that hunts you down no matter what. It was something he and everyone has to face in the end no matter how hard they run and it was best to accept it truthfully and so he did as he thought. Ray looked at mew the little smile still evident he took his hands and said "mhm mh, we can still be friends na . . . I knew already but I was dumb to still not get over it . . . But I don't want to lose a good friend like you mew" mew looked at ray shockingly, he wasn't expecting ray to answer in such positive way. More he was expecting ray to be mad and never talk to him.

"Can- can we still be friends" mew asked a slight hesitant "OF COURSEEE" ray was smiling widely like every inch of him wasn't paining inside at all, he tightly hugged mew, holding back all the tears and broken pieces he now hid behind the bright smile. Both pulled back after a mix feeled of a hug, ray smiled again this time suprised of his own expressions while mew was fuming happy that he hadn't lost a amazing friend, "i- I think I have to go mew.....uh I have some work pending yah? Next time then ahahah have fun with top" he tried not to stutter or sound sarcastic in anyway and left before his long time crush now a ex crush could say anything.

He was walking along the dark streets, broken street light blinking for battery source, empty crushed beer cans littered around and damaged old buildings with some dim lights surrounded him, he couldn't hold back anymore. Even though he knew it was over and he finnally let his crush go, getting to hear it from mew him self was like getting hit by a rock on the head, he mourned it all out letting all his tear he had held back now free, dripping on the street, on his soft red cheeks. And after letting everything out he looked back up at the sky, "beautiful...so pretty" he was admiring the sky still walking down the empty road untill someone bumped him "ouch- oh hey are you ok" ray looked at the person immediately and apologized "shia I'm so sorry I wasn't looking where i was head, did you get hurt" "it's fine it's happens to me often to, also I'm fine don't worry about me, say . . . Were you also about to head to the bar" the man with the guitar pointed and the broken bar sign that looked half full with people, ofc ray wasn't heading to the bar. He didn't even know a bar existed in this area, but then . . . he thought hard about the answer. Having some drinks might help him take his pain away, and so he nodded at the stranger and both of them head straight to the bar.

Ray went to the corner where they served drinks, there weren't many people as there where in the tables. Like the tables were all damn filled with people, enjoy there time laughing jamming to the beats that were currently playing from the speaker above. Ray felt different, he felt more home like in the bar, which was werid since ray was the type to enter more high end bars where they had more expensive drinks, but just sitting here on a black stool, the laid out alcohol options, the dark walls of the place low lighting hitting different places and the smell of cheap alcohol was doing something to him, he felt more comfortable in this kind of setting, ray looked at the bartender who was serving drinks not so busy "hey . . Give me drink, something that will get me drunk fast" rays voice was slow and glum.