Poems and Misc.

12 years

12 years of friendship, that's how long we were together. We were conjoined at the hip, you know? No one could ever separate us. 

Until I did last spring. 

You say whenever I first met you it was in first grade whenever you gave me that unicorn marshmallow. But in reality, it wasn't. I remember the very first time. 

We were in kindergarten. My dad was recently deployed to Japan and I remember going on a walk with my mom through the neighborhood and I remember we happened to go down your road and I remember seeing you playing at the park. You were wearing this deep purple shirt with a Disney cartoon on it and black jean shorts and your hair was back in a low ponytail. I remember seeing you playing and I immediately recognized you and I remember thinking to myself "Oh that's the popular girl from school". Because you were even though you didn't like to admit it. You were known for being such an amazing, kind, smart, individual and later on I was lucky enough to be your best friend.  I remember going up to the play ground and you were climbing the rock wall and you looked at me and just randomly started talking to me. I forgot what about, but I was over the moon to talk to you because I felt like I was making a new friend. Later on that evening whenever my mom and I left I remember asking her whenever we could go back so I could play with you again. 

That was the true first moment of us meeting. 

And from there it was just ancient history. 

We had a lot of inside jokes such as Mr. Bacon Butt or the Loo-Da-Loo. I miss those days whenever I would just hop on my bike and ride down to your house and say hi. 

Remember that time whenever you were dating B and we were all hanging out at the park and we found a random neon purple thong in the grass? Or how at that same park 5 months prior how you witnessed my first kiss behind the rock wall? 

Remember that one time whenever you, B, and I were set on making crochet hats? I remember riding over to your house in the rain and sitting in your living room making those hats with you while eating your mom's bread. 

It's funny how all of my core memories are based around you. It's funny to me how now I can't even drive NEAR our old neighborhood without me bursting out into tears. 

What I did was inexcusable.  I ended our friendship. I want to beg you to take me back. I want to prove to you that I can be and will be a better friend to you. But, seeing you now with your new friends made me realize that you're better off without me. That this was inevitable. This all was going to happen ever since I blew up at you freshman year during tennis practice because I got all butt hurt whenever you were just trying to protect me. 

I knew it was all going to happen this year after I accidentally spilled out your code name for your current boyfriend. 

And me being me I sealed the deal whenever I tried covering my own butt and lied to you. You don't deserved to be lied to especially whenever you were  my only true friend. 

I don't know if you're ever going to see this, but if you do...I'm sorry. 

I love you so much, and I wish I could still be in your life but I know that I can't be. I know that you're happier and because that you are so am I. 

I love you, and I hope you know that I'm always here for you. 

-K