Anger, lust, excitement; shame, happiness
I struggle to feel happy, to laugh, to feel at peace.
When the world is too much.
When I wanna go off, but I feel like I'm on hush.
I try to fake it for my family, my friends, the world, God.
I shut down when people reach for me.
What will happen if I reach my hand back out?
Will I let everything pour out? Will I cry?
God forbid I become too vulnerable.
It feels safe to dismiss myself or to keep my experiences to myself.
No, no, no. I shouldn't feel sad.
How could I? What a sin!
I shouldn't feel weak! "How could you be so weak?"
I shouldn't lust after people.
Feelings are for humans. Feelings help me make sense of my experiences. Take care of myself in negative feelings, but don't push them away.
Written 6/17/23💜
I am learning it's okay to feel. Our feelings help indicate when an experience was fun, safe, or when we should let go of a person, place, or habit. Feelings are signs. Listen for them. It's okay to feel. Even in the most negative feelings, we can lean on God to help us rejoice again one day! God has placed me in relationships and spaces that help me feel safe. I am eternally grateful that I have learned to lean on my community. I am blessed that my community & God meet me, accept me, and love me at my worst.
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Poetry
PoetryThese poems reflect my day-to-day journey of my earthly life. I discuss my mistakes, fears, joys, thankfulness, moments of peace, etc. Most of these poems are written to call out to or praise God. I decided to share them because we all fall short o...
