[Trigger warning: discussion of past sexual harassment, domestic abuse]
. . .
Magna craned her head to look at her, gaze softening.
"I did have fun. Earlier," she murmured. ". . . I always have fun with you."
Yumiko's lips grew slowly into a smile, warmth filling her chest.
"Ditto," she said quietly, squeezing her hand. She knew how significant that was for Magna. How new.
To cede that much control, to hand it over to her like that. . .
It was no small thing. And Yumiko had been aware of that every second throughout, aware and ready to stop at the slightest indication that she wasn't having fun.
Not like before. She wouldn't make the same mistake as before. Would never make it again.
Magna needed control during sex.
Yumiko did too, but she'd had years to work through that. To reach a point where she could comfortably relinquish it to someone she felt safe with.
Magna hadn't.
She still needed it. Might always need it.
And Yumiko was okay with that.
Magna hesitated. "I don't know if I'll be able to do it again - I want to. But I don't know. . ."
"Hey." Yumiko gripped her hand a little tighter, lips still drawn in a smile. "I have no expectations. I didn't when I first brought it up, and I don't now. If it happens again, it happens again. If it doesn't, then we have dozens of other ways to enjoy each other. It's not an issue."
Magna relaxed.
Yumiko hoped this worry had only just found her, that she hadn't been stewing on it for long. Ruining the afterglow of their time together. But knowing Magna, it had probably been a concern from the very start. Before she'd even agreed. May even have bled into her reluctance to admit any enjoyment in what had happened.
But in spite of this, Yumiko was glad that she'd actually said something. That she hadn't kept the worry inside. Or worse, resolved to ignore it and her own boundaries, what she was comfortable with.
That was good. That was progress.
And it wasn't something that would have happened just over a year ago.
"Also, for the record," Magna started, "I don't mind talking about sex. Just not your kind of talk."
"Oh, I know." She'd been nothing if not obvious about that from the start. Yumiko suppressed a smile at remembering the baffled - and somewhat terrified - look on her face the first time Yumiko had tried to have an in-depth discussion about sex. Before any sex had even been had.
"You overthink it too much."
Yeah, right.
"And creating a point system's not?"
Magna paused, mouth working a moment. "Yeah, well," she shifted, "my overthinking is fun."
"Is it though?"
"Yep. And it'd be a lot more fun if you didn't get me off more than you."
Not this again.
"I've said it before and I'll say it again: sex is not a competition, Magna."
"Says you."
"Says anyone who's not a teenage boy."
"I resent that." She narrowed her eyes a moment, though the twitch of her mouth betrayed her. "You just don't want to lose."
YOU ARE READING
Fitting Back Together
Fanfiction"Hey, mind if I steal a dance?" Magna held out a hand, the gesture confident - though Yumiko knew her well enough to catch the faint flicker of uncertainty in her eyes. So brief, she wondered whether she'd imagined it. Her meddlesome brain, throwing...