hate at first sight

what am i feeling?

(How long have i not updated? it's been months 😭😭, i'm really sorry i was busy in my academics lately and our examination will be tomorrow but after that we'll have an academic break so maybe I'll get to publish more chapters, for those who thought i discontinued this book, ofc i didn't i'm really attached to this book so why would i)

Ni-ki was sitting in the edge of his bed, what was he doing?he was staring blankly at the wall as if he's having a staring contest with the wall.

"why am i feeling this way?this isn't love is it?" He asked to his self as he then remembered all the events that happened to him and sunghoon just an hour ago but quickly shook off his thoughts "get yourself together ni-ki don't be fooled he's just playing with you"

You can tell the younger has trust issues since he was still a kid, like how his mom told him that she'll be back in an hour but hours turned into days and days turned into months he later found out his mom ran away with another mom while his dad let's just say he left them because off illness.

That's when he snapped back in his thoughts when he heard Jake calling him downstairs.

"ni-ki, dinner's ready!"
"coming!" He replied.

Ni-ki stands up from his bed and went to his door before turning the doorknob as he got out of his bedroom and walked downstairs.

"what's for dinner hyung?" He asked curiously as he sat on the chair and waited patiently for Jake to serve the dinner.

"crab soup and curry rice" Jake replied and put a two bowl of soup in the table and two curry rice with water beside each plate.

"hm smells good" the youngest then began to taste the soap with a spoon as his eyes lit up when the warm water touched his tongue he tasted the crab and the other ingredients that max mixed properly in it.

"what can i say? i'm such a great cook" Jake replied proudly.

Ni-ki then remembered the questions he was thinking earlier and was still confused on what he's feeling right now and wanted to seek for advice from an elder and Jake seems to be a great one "hey hyung can i ask?"

Jake stopped eating his curry rice and put his spoon aside as it seems to be a serious event and the younger seems to be off somehow "hm?what is it? go on" He said reasuringly and was slightly worried at ni-ki.

"well...did you ever felt something...like hating someone but you don't actually hate that someone it's just your guts hate them but then it changed as you started feeling something else but you're unsure of what you're feeling towards them"

Jake didn't quite understand what ni-ki meant but he sure realized it soon after and that's when his heart hurts like it was being squeezed "well it's much better to rest for now ni-ki we have classes tomorrow right? i-i'll go wash the dishes first" The other said leaving no room for discussion and quickly dismissing it.

Ni-ki was confused on why jake suddenly acted that way but he shook off his thoughts jake is right he needs a rest maybe it's just because of exhaustion, right?. He nods lightly before standing up from his chair and put the dishes in the sink so jake can was them as he was still confused but choose not to speak about it today as he then went back to his bedroom.

On the other hand jake was getting eaten by his guilt seeing how ni-ki walked back to his bedroom with a sad face and how deep the younger sighed he didn't want any of this to happen but he also didn't want to tell the younger what really is happening. "I'm sorry ni-ki if only if it weren't for him i could've told you an advice i can't i just can't reveal it yet, maybe in the right time..." Jake said to himself and sighed deeply.

Ni-ki then entered his room with a disappointed expression as he then locked the door and walked lazily to his bed before plopping onto his bed as he felt the soft mattress being pressed by his weight he sighed the only comfort zone he has is his bedroom he can freely express his emotions without being judged in his bedroom.

Ni-ki turned around as he was now seeing the ceiling and the lightbulb he stared blankly at the ceiling as he then started to get some flashbacks to where him and sunghoon were still kids. No hatred no bickering and no fighting.

And yes you read it right they never hated each other when they were still kids in fact they cared for each other and sometimes share their foods with each other.

Ni-ki also remembered how him and sunghoon would pick flowers in the hill and ran in the soft green grass and laugh and giggle happily like normal kids would do. But like they say happiness never last long he never wanted it to end but he couldn't do anything he was just a child. He didn't want to remember any of the past to be remembered but he couldn't forget about it he wanted but he couldn't. Ni-ki wanted to cry when he remembers the past but he didn't want to be vulnerable and tried to be strong. As he stared blankly at the ceiling tears started to form in his eyes as he then felt sleepy just by staring at the ceiling and didn't realize that his eyes was starting to close on their own as he then drifted off to sleep.

Slight flasback (hoonki's childhood)

"let's pick flowers again, we can still do that can we?"

.........

"i'm sorry...."

End of chapter 6—

what do you think happened to jake and what has happened to hoonki's childhood?👀

let's find out in the next chapter~