Find Me

21 • Sneaking

In total, there are twenty-four letters from the person who calls himself 'T'. I know because I poured over the contents of each one, horrified by every threat he had made to my mother. The closer the letters get to the current date, the more graphic and disturbing the subjects are. He's getting angrier, whoever this person is.

The key pieces from all of the letters include Mom betraying him in some way. They also mention things about loving her so much, but I know it isn't my father. My father's name is Dean Larkin. The person who wrote these letters has a 'T' somewhere in their name, at least, I predict they do. The only problem with that is, who could this person be? And why are they hurting Mom like this?

One thing I know for certain is, 'T' has to be my stalker. I don't think Mom and I would have different people threatening each of us at the same time, there's just no way.

After reading through the letters, I had put them back under Mom's mattress so she won't suspect that I know about them. Is this what she's been hiding from me? She knows who my stalker is, even though she won't admit it. You'd think she'd at least tell the police the guy's name for my sake, but no. Nothing of the sort has been mentioned, well, at least not when I'm around.

I'm tempted on confronting Mom about the letters, but I know that even if I do, she won't tell me anything different than she has been the whole two months we've been here. I can tell by the way she snapped at me earlier.

Shaking my head, I stand up from my small desk, grabbing my jacket on the way out. I have to get out of here, and I don't care if I'm at risk anymore. I now know I'm at risk being with Mom anyway, so no matter what I do, there is no way of stopping the inevitable, whatever the inevitable may be.

As I leave the house, I call Xavier. When he answers, I say quietly, "Can we meet somewhere? I need to get away from the house."

"Sure," he replies.

•••

"Hey," Xavier says when he sits beside me on the bench, his eyebrows pulled together in worry. "Are you okay? You didn't seem very happy over the phone."

I shrug, twiddling my thumbs. "I just...found out something. I'm okay."

"Want to talk about it?"

I shake my head, "Not now, maybe some other time."

I want to tell him about everything that has been happening right here and now, but I fear I can't trust him entirely yet. I can't really trust anyone yet, even my own mother. How do I know she isn't somehow involved with my stalker in other ways than a victim, and the letters were just decoys?

"Fair enough," he replies, looking towards the setting sun. It's close to nine, and I know Mom will worry if I'm out too long...not that I care whether she knows where I am, I just don't want a search party set up.

I look to the sun as well, my body sinking against the backrest of the bench. I soak in the scenery, the birds chirping happily and the trees rustling in the gentle breeze. Then, I feel a warm hand on my hand, their fingers intertwining with mine. I go rigid from the contact when I figure out that it's Xavier holding my hand.

Under different circumstances, I would have found this nice, comforting. Now, it just feels wrong. I pull my hand away a little too harshly, breaking the contact the rest of my body wanted, craved even.

"I'm sorry," he mutters, pulling his hand away. I curse myself silently, wishing I hadn't stopped him.

"No, it's my fault, I just, I'm not used to-"

"I get it," he replies, giving me a small smile. "I shouldn't have pushed it, I'm sorry."

I smile back, "Thank you."

We sit quietly for a few minutes, our shoulders touching, our hands glued to our sides. More than a few times, I catch Xavier looking at me with an intense expression, one that I can't read. It's funny...I can usually tell what people are feeling, but never Xavier. He's mysterious that way.

Finally, after the fifth time of catching him, I say while laughing slightly, "What? Do I have something on my face?"

Xavier doesn't seem fazed at all by my comment. He gives me a boyish grin that makes my heart flutter against my will. "No, I was just thinking about how beautiful you are."

My cheeks warm, and I bow my head. I'm not sure if I should feel flattered or embarrassed. In my baggy sweatshirt, pants, and messy hairdo, I look anything but beautiful. "I'm not though," I murmur, not daring to look at him.

Xavier taps my chin, silently telling me to look up at him, to not feel embarrassed. When I raise my head, his green eyes are locked onto my blue ones. "You are, why don't you think you aren't?"

I'm not sure how to respond to this. I know I can't get too close to Xavier, because it puts him in more danger than he's already in. I'm scared to admit how much it would hurt if he was killed. I wouldn't just feel guilty that I placed the target on his back; I'd feel terrible that I once again had hidden behind someone, instead of facing my stalker myself.

Standing up suddenly, I whisper, "I should go."

Just as I turn my back on him, Xavier says softly, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you."

I turn around, pursing my lips together. "It's not that."

"What is it then?"

I pull some stray hairs behind my ear, wanting desperately to tell him everything; to help him understand why I've been so paranoid. I think by now, he knows something is up, but just doesn't want to say anything. "Nothing...I'm sorry."

"Skylar!"

I run down the street before Xavier can call to me again.

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Right now, I'm editing from chapter 14 to 20 (because they need a lot of work), and should be fixed up by next Wednesday's update!

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A new update comes Friday!

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