Build me up, Buttercup.

Chapter One: will we ever learn

POV: Leopold "Butters" Stotch

It happened again.

One of my stupid nightmares.

I hate my stupid head so much.

It's essentially the same dream every time, yet it never gets any easier.

Now, I've woken up, sitting up stiff, drenched in my own sweat, as tears pool down my face. I've just got to remind myself that everything is alright.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Steady now.

In again.

Out again.

I slowly lay back on my pillow, only to sit up and flip it over to the cooler side before lowering back down again. My hands press against my eyes as my breathing starts to steady.

I've got school in the morning, and I need my sleep. If I toss and turn for a while, I should eventually drift right back to sleep. I hope.

---

It's at least every night now; I'm so wimpy, I'm surprised I'm not being totally ripped on for this. Though, I haven't exactly told anyone other than Eric.

I shake my head in hopes to physically shake the thoughts away.

"I"m going to have a good day." I smile at myself in the mirror, brushing my hair. As I pull down the comb, my hair follows it, bouncing back into it's own curve once I let go. I set the comb down on the counter and grab my shoes from my room.

I walk down the stairs, grab my backpack off the ground, throw it on, and grab the napkin with toasted bagels my parents set out for me before they had headed off to work.

Almost ready! I grab a water bottle, swallow down my morning pills, zip up my jacket, slip on my shoes, and head out the door. Grabbing my phone from my pocket I check the time: 3 minutes until the bus arrives.

"Oh geez.."

My pace hastens and eventually I near the oh-so-familiar spot. Lined up in a row next to the bright yellow bus stop sign stood my life long friends: Stanley Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Kenneth McCormick and Eric Cartman.

Shoving one bagel in my mouth and the other in my pocket, along with my phone, I run over to the bus stop waving at my friends. Taking a bite and removing the food from my mouth I greet them.

"Hey there, fellas!"

Stan gives a nod.

Kyle's lips turn into a thin smile just to fall back again.

Kenny waves back.

And Eric just stares.

"You were almost late."

I pay no mind to his brashness. "Oh boy, Eric, I know but I did make it, didn't I?" He shrugs and the bus pulls up. Each of us piles on and makes it to our normal seats.

Slipping my way towards our seat, I sit down right next to Kenny with my hands sat at my lap and the bus jolts to a start. We sit for a while, before he speaks up.

"Good morning."

My head goes to turn towards him before I halt to stare up in the front window. The snow is falling on the trees beautifully today. "'Mornin, Kenny."

The ride was quiet, that is apart from my classmates shouting around the bus. Reaching to grab my second bagle, I turn to look at Kenny. His messy head was turned to face the window next to him, his chin rested on his hand, elbow rested on his backpack.

My hand turns out to him, offering the bagel. Eyes meeting mine, he smiles and accepts it. It's a small gesture but I hope it brightens his day.

The route to the school was always chaos, but I sat quietly with my eyes closed, breathing steadily. Trying to wake up without disturbing anyone is never that hard if you try.

After a while, the bus comes to a halt and I hear people rushing to get off. A small nudge can be felt on my side before I decidedly sit up and start making my way to the front. From behind me I can hear Kenny's voice. Once my feet meet the sidewalk, I turn around and ask him to repeat his statement.

"Sorry I didn't hear ya; it's so loud on the bus."

"It's alright! I just asked if you were okay."

Am I okay? "Hmm?" I am okay! "Yeah I am Ken, thanks for askin'!"

"No problem Leo. Now come on, you don't want to mess up your perfect attendance." His pace quickens as we make entry into the school.

"Oh you hush now." I giggle, starting to catch up with him.

Yeah, today's going to be a good day.