Take Me With You

CHAPTER 7

Present day

"Let's get you into bed." Roseanne mumbles to her son after they have dined at her apartment.

She is so exhausted, so emotionally drained that she barely knows how to feel anymore.

But then again, each time her brown eyes connect with hazel, she can feel her entire body.

That tiny jolt of excitement, of hope. That feeling builds in her chest, but it is something she can't quite explain – something so beautiful yet frightening at the same time.

It is terrifying for her, because all this time has passed and her feelings are still so strong. Her love is only growing and she knows it'll be like this for the rest of her life.

Not that she minds, but if she bothers to think about it too long, it scares her. To be tied to one person, connected so deeply – it's odd in a way she just can't clarify to herself.

But it makes her feel safe, so safe and that swell of happiness in her heart is boosting her energy once again when she smiles at the woman she loves, before taking a tired Alexander to bed for the night.

They can talk more, later.

Alexander's eyelids are already drooping when she makes him brush his teeth. Lisa remains in the living room while the blonde talks to her son.

"Alex, do you really not mind it if Lisa will be here?"

"No." he hums in satisfaction at the prospect.

"If you don't like it anymore, will you please let me know?" she presses a kiss on his head. He nods with a smile.

"She really nice, mommy. She funny."

"Hey." Roseanne puts her hands on her hips. "Am I not funny?"

Alexander starts giggling through the foam of his toothpaste. "Not as funny as Lissa!"

"Don't you dare tell her that." She smiles widely, unable to stop it. She helps Alexander when he finishes up.

"Mommy, can you tell me stolie?" he asks when he gets back into his pj's, already sliding into his bed.

"About what?"

"Lissa? Why you no together till now?" his brown eyes are honest and curious.

Roseanne sighs, trying to collect the courage. She sits down on his bed, her back against the headboard. Sometimes it just still baffles her how smart and observant he is for his age.

He tucks his head on her stomach, her arm around his shoulder.

"Well... me and Lisa were separated a long time ago, baby. I've told you that before." She sighs. She isn't sure how honest she should be.

One day, she hopes she'll be able to tell him the truth about what actually happened with her and Lisa, and then his father. She hopes that he will be able to understand her conflicts, her mistakes.

Sometimes, she feels like a bad mother. The fact she never truly loved Alexander's dad, the fact he left them for it. The fact that Roseanne can't really stop talking about Lisa, basically making Christian look bad while he didn't do much wrong.

Well, except abandoning his son the moment he was born. Christian had never been home much, but when Alexander was born he was absent even more. He made himself look bad to his son and to Alexander, it was normal that he barely even saw his father.

"Why?"

"For stupid reasons." Roseanne mumbles, running her fingers through his hair. "We love who love, right?"