Loving You [Is A Losing Game]

This was partially inspired by a deleted scene in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 where Petunia and Harry had a final conversation. I'm sure many people have done their own take on this, but I can't help but add my own.

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The first time Petunia laid eyes on Harry. It wasn't as sinful and malicious as most people thought.

Despite not having talked with her sister for several years, Petunia couldn't help but feel a sudden desire to suddenly fall through the ground towards the Earth after opening her door to see the young boy wrapped in a blanket in a basket, a letter addressed to her and Vernon, her husband.

Having just been up with Dudley, who was on the verge of being a year old himself, she was all too used to the routine of putting a child to bed, but not suddenly receiving a child that was definitely only related to her by a little bit of blood. She knew Vernon would not be happy about this, not in the slightest. They barely had enough of themselves and Dudley, let alone a new child.

To friends later in life, she'd make out like it was her worst nightmare. Secretly, however, in that moment she was grief stricken and desperately wishing to regain a small part of her childhood back, held the boy to her breast, looking over him for any sign of Lily. Any sign that her sister had left behind for her to find somehow.

She became quite bitter after a while, seeing that it was mostly his father that Harry portrayed, but when he did finally opened his eyes, that's when she saw her. She couldn't mistake Harry's eyes for anyone else's, but her sisters. She was sure he'd come to hear about it over and over again, later in life, that is if Vernon allowed him to stay with them. She still wasn't sure he would.

Of course, putting him in with Dudley in the same cot, wasn't exactly the best idea, but she wasn't exactly well prepared for two children. She only barely had the provisions for one after all. She was also not prepared for how fast she would forget about that very fact, only to wake up to Vernon absolutely exploding in rage about seeing the dark haired child beside Dudley, calmly sleeping there while Dudley poked at him, only to be wailing the next minute from Vernon frightening him.

Calming him from the revelation that they've been left with her sister's "spawn" was a task itself, but eventually, when she managed to soothe his ire in every way she could think possible, he was finally calm enough for them to talk, even if it mostly consisted of Vernon angrily blaming God for their misfortune.

He suggested an orphanage after a small time of arguing, she suggested a trial. "Think about it dear." She had said, slippers on her feet in curlers in her hair as her dressing gown flapped in the morning wind. "A whole playmate for Dudley to keep him out of the way of your office and to keep him out of the way of me especially with his greedy mouth. It's a wonder I've not been sucked dry."

His grumblings didn't get any angrier, but he was still very displeased. she expected that after all, she badmouthed her sister for so long that really, if accepting Harry meant accepting blame for the fact that her and sister had such discourse that maybe, perhaps raising him, she could get over the fact that she wasn't chosen.

That was pretty much the crux of her argument anyway, with Lily. That she was the one her parents had thought the world of and she was merely just a Muggle. Just normal, Petunia was. Technically she was a Squib, but her parents didn't even give her that luxury. Hence why as Lily thrived, so simply let the hate seep into her.

Eventually, when she left for university, a year or two after Lily finished at Hogwarts, she cut them all out from her life. Lily, her parents, that James boy she'd been seeing for years, she'd had enough. Of course, she'd had that silly whim here and there that they'd contact her, they'd try to talk to her or find her, apologise for putting her through the misery of being a mistake.