Racing Hearts

chapter four

Tw/ panic attacks and anxiety attacks DONT read if not comfortable

This was it, my first f1 grand prix. Taking a deep breath I stepped into the garage as I fiddled with my water bottle.

its just another race, chill out

but it wasn't, it was my first big race. 

no pressure

"ready?"

snapping out of my thoughts I nodded, not knowing what else to do I quickly began untying my orange race suit.

——

I was nervouse to say the least.

the first f1 female drive no fucking pressure

just dont fuck it up, easy

putting my helmet on I adjusted my gloves before pushing my visor down.

pulling out the garage I kept reminding myself

dont fuck it up

"Radio check," breathing in through my nostrils and breathing out of my mouth.

"Loud and clear james."

——

"Fuck!"

"Thats p9 Janelle P9,"

spamming my hands into the steering wheel I tried to flcalm my nerves down.

I was stupid that was what I was

stupid.

this was definitely a rough way to start a race.

finally calm enought to talk I turned my radio on. "Sorry guys, that was a horrible."

"Dont be to hard on yourself, its only your first race," I heard bri.

stepping out of the car I rushed into the garage and three my helmet next to the couch. "Media janelle,"

fuck I forgot about that.

calm down

heading toward the media room the race kept on replaying in my head, every wrong turn, every mistake, everything bad about that race.

——

the first f1 grand prix where I was actually drving instead of watching. Grabbing my hydro flask, I chugged my ice cold water. Ever since I joined mclaren, I have been getting a lot of sponsorship offers, one of them being hydroflask. I quickly accepted that one, i mean I love Hydro flask. Its a win win.

"Come one get up, you need to get ready," quickly snapping out of my thoughts "Okay, uhm when does the race start?"

"you have forty-five minutes Janelle, I would atart warming up."

nodding I grabbed my headphones and turned them listening to my playlist.

forty minutes later

going over some things with my engineers, James showed up and pointed out I need to be inside my car. breeathing in the aroma of the garage i sluggishly hopped into the mclaren car. pushing my helmet on, Bri gave me my gloves. 

pulling out of the garage sure was an experience, the deafening sound of the crowd erupted as I joined the other driver at the start line.

——

"p7 janelle, good job on your first race." James voice filled my ears as my rage overwhelmed the car.

fuck