The Very Thought of You

Chapter 7

When I exited the school, Myles was already there, sitting on the hood of his BMW, reading a textbook. As I got closer, I could see that it was our AP Chemistry book.

"I missed the first half of the lesson. I thought I'd catch up while waiting for you." He said, closing the book.

"Maybe if you were paying attention instead of staring at your classmates then you'd have been fine." I said, sitting beside him, leaving out the fact that I'd missed the second half.

"Classmate." He said, correcting me, his eyes moving to my lips, "You've been angry since lunch. I was worried."

"You don't have to worry about me." I sighed, letting the butterflies in my stomach flutter uncontrollably, "How can you tell that I was angry?"

He stood up, "It was the look on your face when you heard Remy's name. Its like you were in a trance before you bolted out of the cafeteria."

"What did you want to show me?" I asked, changing the subject. Talking about my problems with Remy was the last thing I felt like doing. I'd made the mistake confiding in my mother and look how that turned out. We barely talk these days due to how she feels I should be handling it all.

Myles sighed before going over and opening the passenger door to his car, "You coming?"

When I was safely seated inside the car, he closed the door and joined me. The drive was quiet so after ten minutes, I turned to him, admiring his ability to deal with me. He's always trying to get me to open up about everything. And even helps me feel better when I don't even tell him what's bothering me. I admired that he worried about me. I even admired the fact that he didn't mind me bringing up Trevor out of nowhere earlier.

"Now you're the one staring." Myles smirked, "You trying to make me feel weird?"

"What does that even mean?" I asked with a laugh, "I don't think you understood me earlier when I used the word."

"I understood," He told me. "Too many people would know I like you if I stared at you during the whole class."

I knew Myles had a bit of a crush on me. I was crushing on him too. But being in a relationship still felt wrong for some reason. Like I was betraying some unspoken contract with myself regarding falling in love again. The thought scared me. And not just because I could lose that person but also because...

"I didn't expect you to say anything. It's okay, Elease. I just don't want you to think I'd return Remy's advances. Or anyone else's for that matter." He added.

"So, there's been many candidates, huh?" I asked sarcastically, glad he'd changed the conversation himself. "You always been popular with the ladies?"

"Actually," he said slowly. "I had a girlfriend the first three years of high school."

My eyes widened, "That means,"

"We broke up at the beginning of summer." He admitted, confirming what I was thinking. Absently, my hand flew to his shoulder. I squeezed it tightly, as my heart fell to my stomach. Just by the way he said it, I could tell that he had loved whoever she was.

"I'm so sorry, Myles." I said, meaning every word, understanding what it felt like to lose someone you care about.

He shook his head, "It's fine. I've had three months to get over it. I haven't thought about it since I've met you. When I first saw you in the park with that sad look on your face, I could tell you'd been heartbroken too."

"We're just a couple of broken pieces." I said, wallowing deeper into the comfy seat.

He laughed a little before smiling, "That makes us whole when we're together. I'm happy we met that day."

I wanted to ask Myles why his relationship had ended but decided not to push the subject further. It seems we both have things we're not ready to share just yet.

I smiled at him, "Myles with a Y."

"And Elease with an E." He beamed.

When Myles pulled up to his house, I stared at him confusedly. He smiled, waving me out of the car as he opened the passenger door for me. The large door to the garage opened, revealing a stone floor with white glass shattered all over the place.

Myles went inside, the glass crumbling beneath his shoes, and carried a brown box out. When he sat it on the ground, I could see it was full to the brim with cheap white dish plates.

"What is all of this?" I asked, watching my step.

"This is Remy." He said, throwing a plate against the stone wall inside the garage. It shattered into many bits and pieces, the sound echoing throughout the large space.

"You can't be serious?" I giggled.

"It worked for me. Come on, just try it. Something about the interaction between you two didn't sit well with me. So, if you don't want to tell me, that's fine." He said seriously, "But you can't keep bottling up all this anger and pain. Just try it, Elease. You'll feel a little better."

I wiped the sweat from my forehead, taking in Myles' words. He was right. I'd bottled up so many feelings about what had happened that night. That's probably a part of why I can't bring myself to move on from all of it.

I picked up a plate, my hold on it tight as I thought of Remy but when I slung it against the wall, I couldn't help but scream Trevor's name. Tears rolled down my face as I emptied the box of dishes cursing his name, the resentment flushing from me, leaving only the love I had for him. All this time, I'd been angry with him. Not Remy.

The realization of it all knocked me off balance. Myles pulled me up before my knees could touch the ground. He let me cry into his shirt for what seemed like forever before I let go, wiping my tear soaked face.

"Is your dad okay with all of this?" I asked, wanting to find something else to occupy my mind.

"He's the one who came up with the idea. We did it together a month ago." He chuckled, "Good thing we never cleaned it up."

"Thank you, Myles." I said turning away from his eyes, "I haven't felt this good in months."

From my peripheral, I could see him smile wide before stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"I'm just getting started with you, Elease."