stalking; minlix

WED 10 SEPT 2003

felix's pov;

i get up and leave my class, the amount of looks of pity ive relieved today has made me sick. today i decided to wear some of jeongins clothes, mainly her shoes. today my outfit was to be simple, a black mini dress with transparent flowy arms. thigh high black socks and jeongin's black legwarmers. her thick new rocks peeking out from the fabric.

i get out of the university building, the sky a dull shade of grey. i start my walk home, kicking at the leafs while walking. i hear heavy footsteps behind me, i turn around and see one of my best friends sprinting towards me. his skateboard in hand and a smile on his face.

i hold onto the strap of my messenger bag, a look of disbelief on my face. "hey jisung" i wave as he tries to stop, the lack of grip on his vans along with the damp leafs nearly makes him fall. once stabled he smiles.

"hey lix" he goes to mess up my hair, even with my hat blocking his hand. instead he leaves my pined up ushanka hat wonky. i glare at him as i fix it. "wanna come over ?i got some bud" he grins.

"yeah sure" perhaps getting high will remove the pain of jeongin, even just for a night. i start walking again, jisung happily skipping along. "ji did you hear the second part of season seven comes out in october"

"no way, i doubt they can top the first half" jisung enthusiastically replies. "i mean season six was insane, im so happy they brought kenny back " i push him away.

"but tweek had like five episodes " yes, me and jisung are talking about the show south park. one night during a sleepover me and jisung were on comedy central and ended up coming across a new show, we were twelve at the time, about to be thirteen.

"you'll come over to watch the episodes together ?" ever since we found the show we've been watching every season together, even snuck into the movie together. "like old times" this year i was too busy to watch the first part of the season together.

"of course" we get to the apartment building, jisung unlocking the front door. we get into the cold building, the lights barely working. we walk up the steep stairs, choosing not to speak due to the echoing halls.

we finally get to jisungs floor, unlocking the door we walk in and take our shoes off. we rush to his room to avoid any awkward conversation between us and his parents. we get into his room and he excitedly pulls something out. "guess who finally got fall out boys album"

he pulls out a cd case with the 'take this to your grave' album. "woah, how did you get this i haven't seen a single one in korea" i take the cd off jisung and examine it, my eyes wide.

"one of the guys i deal to didn't have enough money and offered it, i never take trades but it was fall out boy i couldn't say no" jisung puts his bag on the floor and reaches over to his shelf, grabbing a little bag filled with green.

i drop my bag next to his and sit on his beanbag, watching jisung roll a joint for me. as he does i turn my attention to jisungs cd player, a small sticker i put on it from when he first bought it still stuck to player. i put the fall out boy album in and press play.

the album starts with 'tell that mick he just made my list of things to do today' jisung passes me the roll up, his bong in the other hand. "thanks ji" he takes a seat next to me and lights his bong, i take my lighter out my pocket and light mine.

i light mine while getting up to open his windows, not wanting any active smoke alarm to go off. the music keeps playing, the songs slightly quieter for us to talk. "to be honest, when you and innie got together i thought you'd leave me"

"that's silly, you are like my only friend" i take one of the last pulls from the joint, leaning my head back before blowing the smoke. "when me and jeongin got together i thought you would leave me"

jisung pauses then laughs, i turn and look at my best friend. "dude, we really should've just spoke to eachover "

"we were fourteen, what did you expect " i continue to laugh. "me and jeongin were actually planning to move out after uni, i actually had to collect all her things on monday"

"oh fuck, how did that go ?" jisung moves to a much more comfortable position, the album comes to the end i reach over behind me and switch the cds to a radiohead one.

"so uncomfortable, i ended up just putting all her clothes and music into the boxes and her dad drove me home" i pick a the end of my dress. "actually the leg warmers and shoes are hers"

"her dad is scary" he starts laughing. i punch him but also laugh. the joke making me feel a little better. "but uhhh at least you got new clothes " i scoff and push him again.

"sung, you can't say im insane or anything" he gives me a look, his eyebrows furrowed. "i feel like im being watched, like all the time" jisung puts the bong down. "i get so paranoid whenever i need to change or when im going to shower it felt like this way before jeongin went missing and for some insane reason im convinced its linked to jeongins disappearance"

"holy fuck lix" he gets up and closes his blinds, glaring out (even if we are on the seventh floor) "you can't just say that before walking home alone after dark" i roll my eyes and put my bag back on. jisung grabs my wrist. "you're not leaving like that young lady, take this"

he gives me one of his jackets, the old leather quite heavy. "thanks sung, i'll call you when im home" we leave the room, the light of the hall making up comment on the others redish eyes.

we get to the living room, where the front door and my shoes are. jisung's mother, who isn't a very open minded woman, smiles at us. we both prepare for the woman's delusions. "sung you didn't tell me your girlfriend was here tonight, how you doing felix"

she's known me since i was eight, neither of us know why she's so convinced me and jisung will get married. "hi mrs han, im just going now" i give her an awkward smile and wave before putting my shoes on, jisung choosing to walk me down the stairs.

we close the door, both of us sighing. "jesus i have literally brought boys over and have had very loud sex how does she just not get the hint" my best friend groans into his hand as we walk down the endless flights of stairs.

"at least she's not obvious we her homophobia" i fix my hat, bringing a few strands of hair out to frame my face. we get to the front door, jisung opening it for us, i straighten out my septum piercing as we walk out. jisung's tongue pushes against the studded snake bites.

"you know you can stay over right" jisung leans against the wall, rubbing his arms to keep himself warm with the september evening breeze. "dont want you walking home, especially if you feel someone's watching you"

"it's fine sung, i got an early start and don't want to be late " i get my ipod out and put my earphones in, waving at my best friend before walking home. i get my cigarettes out my pocket and light one.

i turn my music as loud as possible, the cure playing to keep me distracted from the paranoid feelings. i keep my pace fast and my eyes staying on the floor. suddenly the street lights turn off, my heart starts beating faster than ever.

i start slightly shaking, my legs going faster and i lower the volume of my music. im getting pretty close to my house. i finish my cigarette and dispose the butt in the bin. my eyes look down the alley way, a silhouette at the end of it.

i run the rest of the way home.
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for those who don't know new rocks, i NEED a pair but its soooo expensive ]-: