ONE SHOT ONLY
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Reference: steemit.com
This book is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, and dialogue are made from the author's imagination and are not be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
"Mom, there's someone I'd like you to meet."
I looked up at my son and smiled. I smiled from ear to ear.
"Hi Madame, I'm Margaux. It's nice to meet you."
I smiled even wider. This girl is so pretty and oh my! Anyone that will talk to her, their mood will surely lighten up.
"Mom, Margaux and I..." My son looked at her lovingly. "Are engaged, and we're getting married."
My eyes widened in shock but I also smiled in the end.
"Are you guys sure about each other?" I asked them seriously.
"Of course mom. I'm sure of her. She's the woman I want to marry."
I sighed and placed my paintbrush down.
"Do you love each other? I mean do you really love each other?"
They both nodded.
"I wish your dad loved me too when we got married..."
He looked confused.
"Huh? What do you mean mom? Aren't you guys like so into each other, isn't that the reason why you got married?"
I looked shocked. Far too shocked.
"Is that what he told you? Then I guess we are..."
Son, if only I could tell you about everything. If only I could. I don't want to destroy the image of him that you know.
We may seem in love but he wasn't.
I was and he wasn't.
I still remember everything vividly. The night we met and the night I can't forget.
Alicia, the woman my husband loves. The woman he loves very much.
He got me pregnant while they're still in a relationship, that's why to cover up the scandal, we got married for the wrong reasons.
He was supposed to marry Alicia yet I... I was the reason why they couldn't have their happy ending.
I got pregnant. He was drunk and I wasn't. I could've stopped that from happening. Yet I didn't.
Your father never left my side, he was always there when you're still inside of my womb. Well up until now.
But I guess it's just out of pity and regrets.
I loved him but I know that he can't love me like I do.
I do love him.
So I was hurt when one time when you're four years old, he was staring at their picture in his wallet. He's still keeping it.
He was staring at their picture while holding their supposed to be ring.
He gave me a different ring.
And he wears a ring that matches mine.
But I know that whenever he stares at our ring, all he can ever feel was remorse.
You're ten years old when I heard him talking to Alicia saying he's sorry.
I know that he was drunk but...
He told her that he still loves her...
I maybe the woman who tied the knot with him...
But I'm not the one who he wanted to tie the knot with.
That was when I cried out to God.
I'm sorry I committed sexual intercourse with someone before marriage. Is this the price of my mistake?
But that mistake gave me my son, my reason to live.
I know that He hears me...
Each and every one of my prayers, I am asking God to let Mikael love me.
Just for once...
I just want him and make me feel he loves me.
Every painting I made seemed lifeless.
When you're seven and you asked for a sibling, I wish I could give you one all by myself but...
Your father can't do it again with me...
I felt insecure inside and out.
And that struck me.
I will never be the woman he loves.
I will never be Alicia...
Because I am Natasha...
The woman he married...
But he doesn't and will never love...
That's why...
The image we-no he puts in front of you was all a facade.
"If you really love Margaux, son, make her feel enough. Don't make her feel insecure. Make her feel loved. And if you ever need an advice, we're always here."
No, he barely makes time for his self.
I'm always here.
"Madame-"
"Just call me Mama or auntie..."
"Auntie...that painting, what's the name of that?"
Oh it's the painting of someone staring at a couple kissing in the rain.
"Loveless."
She smiled as if she knew the story behind that.
And like the wheel that chose to keep on moving even if it's worn out, I went on and let go of the things that will never be mine.
Maybe in another universe, Mikael loves me.
Surely, in another life. He loves me.
Right?
