take my hand, give it a chance

XXI

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: was it a warning? :
*tw - sh & drugs*
( bills pov )

Three months later ~

The nightmare I had three months ago, it's making me worry a lot about
y/n.

Seeming as if it was going to come true.

She hasn't came out her room at all.

Or not that I know of.

I haven't seen her since that night.

I mean she would come out, but wouldn't stay out. She'd only come out to go to the bathroom and that's it.

Sometimes she wouldn't even be at the house, she'd be somewhere else.

It has me worrying a lot.

I'm walking in circles, thinking if I should walk to her room or not.

I feel like I should, anything could be happening.

"ok, I have too" I say to myself.

I slowly take a deep breath before walking to her door.

Once I got to her door, I knocked.

"Y/n?" I call out.

No answer.

"Y/n" I call out her name once again.

Again.

No answer.

"Okay, y/n I'm coming in" I say slowly turning the knob the door.

I slowly pushed the door open.

The door really wasn't opening with the amount of clothes that were on the ground.

I pushed the door through the clothes.

Then there she was again, sleeping.

"man this girl can sleep through anything" I quietly groaned.

I was definitely relieved.

I noticed her window open.

I didn't think much of it.

"man it's freezing in here" I say pulling my sleeves down.

I walked to her window closing and locking it shut.

I walked back out of her room, slowly closing her door.

( y/n pov )

As soon as I heard the door close, I opened my eyes.

I quickly sat up and tipped toed to the door to lock it.

I walked back to my bed, sitting on the edge.

"Maybe I should just wait until the night" I say to myself holding my arms.

"ow" i quietly whined.

I lifted my sleeves.

The cuts on my arm, were red.

My entire arm was red.

Then I looked over to my other arm, which was the exact same as the other one.

I dropped both of my arms, looking at my dresser.

These 3 months been hell.

I've completely lost myself, I'm not the old y/n anymore.

The amount of times people said, "I miss the old you".

"What happened"

"You have to forget aria, she's impacting on your life"

"This isn't you"

"Your so different now"

Just repeating in my head, all day.

It's that you'll just never get the old y/n back, she's gone.

For good.

I got up from my bed and walked to the mirror on the wall.

I looked at myself.

Just disgusted.

I looked horrible.

My eyes were dark, no near the same anymore.

But i didn't care, not at all.

This was how I wanted to live my life.

I turned away from the mirror to my room, which was a complete mess.

Clothes scattered everywhere.

I walked over the clothes and back to my bed.

Sitting on the edge again.

2 failed attempts these past months.

I grabbed my cigarettes box from my nightstand, it was sitting in the middle of the liquor bottles I had left over.

I took one from the pack.

I sat it on my bottom lip and I searched for a lighter.

Once I got the lighter, I lit the cigarette.

I took a puff then blew it out of my mouth.

I put the cigarette back onto my lip as I was opening the window, I leaned against the window smoking the cigarette.

As I was half way done with the cigarette, I smashed it against the wall outside of the apartment and dropped it.

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