Just us

Chapter 47

Y/n pov

I sat on the edge of the bed as Anna sat behind me. After our eventful day of feeding the twins and having friends come over we were finally alone.

It's been a few days since I cried in Anna's arms.

I told her after I calmed down that I would tell her when I was ready to talk.

I looked at my hands feeling my eyes water again.

"You ok bub? You've been quiet for the past few hours." I heard Anna say. I didn't even move.

"Anna I'm ready." I felt the bed move feeling her right next to me.

I sat there taking a deep breathe.

"My parents loved me from the moment I was born. It was shown through my childhood. They were happy I was their child." I felt Anna rub my back which felt amazing.

"It was in highschool when everything sort of changed. It was my freshman year. I was talking to Liv at the time but not dating yet. We were eating dinner when I heard my dad say that some things might change."

"He told me that at the company there were some bad deals going on and that he was gonna fix them. My mom made sure that we had nothing to worry about. I just waved it off until I found out what the deals were."

"One of my dad's employees were selling houses that weren't for sale. Also selling houses to people who couldn't afford them and other shit. One day that year my dad came home before my mom. He seemed so shook up by something. He just walked to the kitchen grabbing the vodka from the fridge."

I closed my eyes for a moment not letting the memory slip through my walls.

Anna held my shoulder leaning her head on me letting me know it was ok.

"Few hours go by and my mom gets home saying she has to help grandma jo with her taxes or something. So she left. My dad was drunk. I had walked into his office to check on him when I felt something hit my head. I hit the floor hearing my dad yell at me about how he wouldn't take the deal."

"He threw the bottle of vodka at my head. I just left him and went to bed. When we woke up he saw me and apologized immediately. I knew he never meant it... that was until I came out."

I watched Anna turn to look at me confused. I looked down biting my lip.

"I told them I liked a girl and my dad whole love for me changed a bit. Asking if it was phase and all. My mom couldn't look at me for a few days. That night I told them my dad became a alcoholic. My mom became distant. That night I got beaten badly."

"It wasnt because of work or because I was gay actually. It was because I had also told them I didn't want to go to church anymore. I got hit a few more times through the years and my mom worked overtime not just because of me bur because my dad became a dick."

"I became a disappointment to my parents in seconds. They still loved me though but everything I did from that day forward was just wishing I came back to their church."

"Reason I left was because their church would send gay kids away. I couldn't handle that. I knew my parents would support me but for their church to know one of their followers was gay was like they let the devil in."

"The one night my dad beat me was because not only did I leave church but also in his drunken mind I shouldn't have been living with them. Since I brought the devil in. He whipped my hands with a belt."

I felt Anna hold my hands seeing why everytime someone brings up my past I look at them.

They have so many scars from my own fist fights but also that night from my dad.

"To get away from him when he was his abusive drunk I would hide in my room. I would drink. Then when I went to school hearing I was the faggot and dyke of the school I would beat that kids ass just because I heard enough of it at home."

"It wasn't everyday. My dad drank but it was on thr nights that work was bad he would drink worse. Tye abusive drunk. My mom no where in sight."

"So when we got in that car accident and my dad and mom were pronounced dead on scene I cried heavily before you were there."

"I told Grandma jo everything and she pitied me until I told her not to. I don't want pity for my life. I get it I had it rough for someone who is now famous. But I just wanted love."

"But knowing my parents were still disappointed in me when they died hurts. Because if they were alive ans seeing my life now they would be so proud."

I started crying feeling Anna hug me. I shook my head knowing they were probably watching from wherever they are seeing how I wasnt as bad as they thought.

I was making them proud.

And Grandma jo was probably laying it into them about how I was treated for a while.

"The other fact that haunts me to this day is I drank because of my dad and he drank because of me. We drank because we couldn't handle eachother." I said as I started to sob.

I felt Anna pull me into her making me feel safer.

I hadn't told anyone.

Because I hate being pitied.

But also because I didn't want to be reminded of what drove me out of my home.

As much as I love my home my parents made fun memories there seem haunting.

It was home yet it wasn't.

I took a few deep breathes feeling Anna wipe my tears. She looked at me smiling.

"Thank you. For telling me. I'm sorry you had to deal with so much inside. I've always told you how I felt yet never asked you before. That's on me and you shouldn't have had to carry not only your weight of emotions but my own as well."

I giggled at Anna as I looked at her.

"Your issues were the best distraction from everything." Anna smiled as she looked at the time.

"You have a media day tomorrow as Dave says then we have dinner at Kennedys."

"I have two interviews don't i?"

"Yes first one I don't remember with who but the second is ours with vanity fair I think? The Google search thing."

"Fun." Anna smiled as she kissed my head. I kissed her chest as we held eachother.

That was until the baby moniter went off.

I sighed as Anna patted my back.

"I did the last one." I nodded getting up kissing her.

Parenthood everyone.