NMW I Love You

Chapter 1 Shadows and Sunshine

We're gonna ri-ri-ri-rise 'til we fall
They said we got no, no, no, no future at all

The familiar lyrics were perfect to wake her from her groggy state. Imogen had set it for 6 a.m. sharp, knowing she’d need the reminder. Lately, she’d been listening to songs a lot, mostly at night, with her favorite being 'Rise' by Jonas Blue and Jack & Jack. She remained there for a moment, the music still playing as her eyes turned towards the window.

As Imogen peered out of her bedroom window, she saw birds flitting about and smiled. It was as if they were saying good morning to her, a cheerful start to the day. It was the kind of day that called upon her to step outside, to welcome the world with open arms and a keen heart. But the whims of the weather were as capricious as they were enchanting.

Just as the day had unfolded in all its glory, a shift in the atmosphere brought about a sudden change. Clouds gathered and obscured the sunny sky. The air, once warm and welcoming, took on a cooler edge, carrying the promise of a gentle drizzle. As raindrops began to fall, gently tapping the window like a soft melody, Imogen felt a twinge of hesitation. The charm of a sunny day was replaced by the unpredictability of sudden rain. With a sigh, she thought about the comfort of her room, the warm pull of her blankets tempting her to stay a little longer.

However, Imogen's drive overshadowed the tempting pull of comfort. Graduation awaited in the near distance, only two months ahead, and every day held its importance. Her heart set on crossing the finish line of high school with her head held high, she knew she couldn't afford to let a drizzle dampen her spirit. With a deep exhale, Imogen pushed herself away from the window and dressed in a denim jacket and a pair of comfortable jeans. She slipped on her well-worn sneakers and grabbed her backpack. The drizzle, rather than deterring her, invigorated her.

Stepping into the world with her umbrella, Imogen welcomed the gentle mist around her. The raindrops tapped on her umbrella like delicate performers. These raindrops reminded her of nature’s unpredictable but enchanting beauty. She hadn’t noticed how quickly time had slipped away, lost in the magic of "Youngblood" by 5 Seconds of Summer.

The school came into view, its familiar face a place for learning and growth. The rain, gently falling, represented her unshakeable will. Upon reaching the school gates, Imogen paused, taking a moment to survey her surroundings. The courtyard, once bustling with activity, was now adorned with glistening raindrops that clung to every surface. Imogen's gaze drifted upwards, and there it was-the school's flag, billowing proudly against the backdrop of grey skies.

However, Imogen carried some difficult feelings within her. She faced a crossroads where constant criticism and body shaming threatened to dull her inner light. Even though her lively personality and infectious laughter used to fill the school halls, her bright spirit was now overshadowed by growing self-doubt and heavy melancholy. As she walked through the crowded hallways, she felt a deep loneliness settle in her heart.

She saw her best friend, Lily, drifting away, caught up in a new romance. Imogen’s laughter used to match Lily’s perfectly, but now the silence between them felt overwhelming. Imogen looked at her other friends, who had been with her since childhood. Their friendship seemed unbreakable, and their laughter seemed effortless. Yet, Imogen was troubled by a deep feeling of loneliness. It was as if she were standing on the edge of a lively painting, unable to find her place within its bright colours.

The memory of her first love, Matt, cast a long shadow over her heart. She was just 15 when their fairytale came crashing down, shattered by the painful discovery of his infidelity. The confrontation that came after was stuck in her memory with a sharpness that wouldn’t go away. The memory of that moment still haunted Imogen, even in 2023.

It was March 2020, and a 15-year-old Imogen's heart raced as she approached the table where Matt was seated, his nonchalant smile unravelling her composure. Her voice shook as she demanded an explanation, her eyes filled with anger, pain, and disbelief. Matt sat beside Katy, Imogen's ex-best friend, his arm draped over her shoulder. The cafeteria where Imogen used to come with Matt to drink coffee became the setting for their explosive encounter.

Imogen couldn't bear the intimacy between the two, especially considering that she maintained her distance from other guys, remaining loyal to her relationship with Matt.

"You fucking cheated on me, Matt," her words hung in the air like a heavy cloud, their weight crushing her chest.

Matt's countenance transitioned from astonishment to a defensive stance. "Imogen, it's not what you're assuming. It was merely a mistake."

His attempt to explain only intensified Imogen's rage. Her words became more cutting, echoing through the cafeteria. “A mistake? That’s your take on it? You’ve betrayed me, Matt. My trust in you has been shattered! You’ve lost me forever. Keep your excuses to yourself! Better shove them up your arse, you worthless bastard.”

Imogen's voice quivered, but her spirit remained unyielding. She didn't allow her vulnerability to be mistaken for weakness. Her gaze bore into Matt's, a great fury and hurt flashing in her eyes.

"I thought we had something special," she continued, her voice gaining strength. "I trusted you, and you threw it all away for what? A fleeting moment?"

The silence that followed was palpable, the surrounding students watching the scene unfold. Imogen's heart pounded, her breath uneven, but she stood her ground. It was a defining moment-one where she refused to be silenced, where she confronted the pain head-on. Matt's gaze dropped, guilt and remorse evident in his eyes.

"Imogen, I fucked up. I'm sorry. I'll make things up for you."

Imogen's voice softened, her ire giving way to a profound despair. "Sorry doesn't erase what you did, Matt. You shattered something that was beautiful, something I thought was real. I can't be with someone who thought I wasn't enough for him."

With those words, Imogen turned and walked away, leaving Matt and their shattered relationship behind. It was a step towards reclaiming her own strength, a declaration that she wouldn't allow anyone to define her worth. This chapter would be about understanding love, friendship, and finding oneself in the journey of life. Her close friends, although well-meaning, could not quite bridge the gap that Matt’s betrayal had created in her heart.

As she walked away from the cafeteria, the harsh reality of her situation hit her. Reflecting on that intense moment from her past, Imogen chose to put aside all her memories with Matt. She refused to let her past dictate her future. The road ahead was hers to walk, and she was ready to make the most of it, leaving the past where it belonged.

"Fuck that ass. He didn't deserve me. I have someone who deserves me," she muttered to herself.