I've been cutting for months now and I was in my room today when I found my razors and I cut and kept cutting 1...2...3....4....5....6 as the tears began to roll down my face and all the names I got called repeating in my head. your worthless
Emo
Waste of space
Slut
Fat ass
Weird
Repeating over and over again and again it was horrible.When I pressed a little harder it felt good I did It three more times watching as the blood began to pool on my arm.Mom called me down for supper I washed up and I let ana take over (anorexia) and told mom that I wasn't hungry because I had already had eaten at a friends house.so I wondered back up to my room and started texting my boyfriend. I texted "hey babe what's up" he replied a few seconds later "nothing u ?" "Oh just sitting in bed just Finished dinner what did u have?"
It was obvious I was lying but he replied"steak u?"i texted him back while walking down the stairs "cool I had chicken and sweet potatoes,it was good" then we shortly ended the convo with I love u's and gtg's. I was soon in the bath listening to music like Black Veil Brides and Sleeping With Sirens.Mom hates my taste in music well some of it but the other stuff I used to listen too she dose now.i was soon fully emerged into to the water while holding my breath I was thinking about how much I really wanted to leave this world and how easy it would be right now I would be so silent but then I realize how much I would hurt my mom and my step dad and he's not the typical type of step dad that's mean he's nice and my real dad left when I was born. So he's my the only real dad I have and my sisters she's 7 he dose Heroin and she's hasn't warmed up to step dad yet tho and I have a baby sister she's so cute I love her along with my boyfriend with my heart,body and soul to death. I got out of the bath and mom told me to do dishes.I was doing the dishes when mom grabbed a cup from the cupboard that she washed and said "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!" I said "it's a dish with a spot on it you washed it remember" "NO I DIDNT, U DID" she punched me in the side of the head I fell and got back up and said "FUCK U,U BITCH IM LEAVING" and she yelled "NO YOU NOT" she grabbed my hair as I tried walking out the door I Spahn around and clocked her one she was on the ground crying I yelled "that's for all the times you hit me!,your lucky I don't call the fucken cops on you" I walked out the door and a few hours later I came back as I was walking I couldn't believe what I just did that's the first time I fought back. she was sitting on the couch with a ice pack on her eye half her face was swollen. I walk up to her and said"you let anyone you did this i'll give you another one" I walked away In anger.Went up to my room to listen to my demons again.
So hey guys umm I need help with my new book "Jeff the killer (romance)" if you have anything ,anything at all just leave me a comment kk bye :3
